Avant Crap

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Trevor
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Avant Crap

Post by Trevor » Wed May 18, 2011 10:01 pm

Image
Brought to you by Trevor and Rdog.
Artwork courtesy of DJ Rkod.

Metal in a Turtleneck's bastard sibling.

A playful game, sadistic endurance test, and satisfactory time waster all in one. Round by round, RD and I will throw out albums to each other that we have to listen to and then proceed to write about. This will differ from Metal in a Turtleneck in that the goal is not to recommend albums we think and/or hope our partner will enjoy. Quite the opposite. We'll be digging deep into the barrel. The more horrendous the album, the better for the thread. The albums we make our partner listen to are not necessarily ones that we have listened to before. Unless either of us come to an agreement on possible specific exceptions, choices should be limited to what are referred to as "studio albums", and should be no longer than a double-album (4 or 6 sides; 2 discs).

This bares striking resemblance to Blevo's equally sadistic tournament thread. So kudos to you and your unconsciously implanting of seeds into my brain.

Here we fucking go.

----------

Trevor has endured:
1: Chris Cornell - Scream - 1.5/5
2: Metallica - St. Anger - 2.5/5
3: Ke$ha - Animal - 2/5
4: Christopher Lee - Charlemagne: By the Sword and the Cross - 1/5
5: Justin Bieber - My World 2.0 - 1.5/5
6: Aaron Carter - Aaron's Party (Come Get It) - 1/5
7: Rednex - Sex and Violins - 0.5/5
8: Limp Bizkit - Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water - 1.5/5

Rdog has endured:
1: Neil Young - Trans - 2.5/5
2: Soulja Boy - Souljaboytellem.com - 0/5
3: Insane Clown Posse - Bang! Pow! Boom! - 0.5/5
4: 50 Cent - The Massacre - 0.5/5
5: Celine Dion - Let's Talk About Love - 0.5/5
6: Prozakk - Hot Show - 2/5
7: BrokenCYDE - I'm Not a Fan, But the Kids Like It! - 9th Circle of Hell
8: Limp Bizkit - Results May Vary - 1/5
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Fabian Thomsett
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Fabian Thomsett » Wed May 18, 2011 10:03 pm

A picture of Kevin Rowland in his transvestite phase can only augur good things.
A culture of high energy sisters getting it on
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Wolfy
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Wolfy » Wed May 18, 2011 10:05 pm

Hey Metal Machine Music
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Ekinflog
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Ekinflog » Wed May 18, 2011 10:05 pm

This will be good.
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Fabian Thomsett
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Fabian Thomsett » Wed May 18, 2011 10:06 pm

But who will survive...The SUTCLIFFE JUGEND BACK CATALOGUE!!!
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sevenarts
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by sevenarts » Wed May 18, 2011 10:13 pm

Fabian Thomsett wrote:But who will survive...The SUTCLIFFE JUGEND BACK CATALOGUE!!!
I've seen them live. You don't scare me.

Obviously, I'm in.
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Wolfy
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Wolfy » Wed May 18, 2011 10:18 pm

This already has more fans than the original.
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Trevor
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Trevor » Wed May 18, 2011 10:21 pm

I'll start off with an easy listening choice. I assume, anyway. I've yet to listen to this, myself. As featured in the thread's banner,
Image

Neil Young - Trans (1983)
The '80s did frightening things to rock legends.

Now, to wait for RD to get online.
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Das
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Das » Wed May 18, 2011 11:58 pm

Pain Jerk!

You have no idea what you're getting yourself into with this thread, especially if you open it up to user input.
Hey Metal Machine Music
Is pretty fucking tame in comparison to a lot of the records that could potentially be in this thread.
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Rdog » Thu May 19, 2011 12:00 am

Image
Album Number One:
Chris Cornell: Scream
Chris Cornell is an amazing rock vocalist. This is his electronic album produced by Timbaland. Enjoy.
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Wolfy
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Wolfy » Thu May 19, 2011 12:01 am

This is his electronic album produced by Timbaland

.................................
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Rdog » Thu May 19, 2011 12:03 am

Das ƒloyd wrote:Pain Jerk!

You have no idea what you're getting yourself into with this thread, especially if you open it up to user input.
I'll ask Trevor about user input and other people playing along. I don't see a problem with other people recc'ing albums to each other in this thread. Or others recommending albums that we use in the future as choices.
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Trevor
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Trevor » Thu May 19, 2011 12:05 am

Rdog wrote:
I'll ask Trevor about user input and other people playing along. I don't see a problem with other people recc'ing albums to each other in this thread. Or others recommending albums that we use in the future as choices.
I think he means having other people suggest albums to us. :D

That could be fun, a bit later one. First, I'm curious what just RD and I give each other.
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Rdog » Thu May 19, 2011 12:06 am

Trevor wrote:
I think he means having other people suggest albums to us. :D

That could be fun, a bit later one. First, I'm curious what just RD and I give each other.
ah that could be a bit frightening. :D
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Trevor
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Trevor » Thu May 19, 2011 12:09 am



Starting track 1 now.
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Trevor » Thu May 19, 2011 12:13 am

Wait, this is Soundgarden's singer?! Holy shit.
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Rdog » Thu May 19, 2011 12:15 am

Trevor wrote:Wait, this is Soundgarden's singer?! Holy shit.
oh yeah.
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by DJ Rkod » Thu May 19, 2011 12:18 am

Image
we sing to ourselves in our cars, music is our sanctuary. anywhere you put it it's ours, our living voice, our living testament
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Rdog » Thu May 19, 2011 12:22 am

DJ Rkod wrote:Image
Have you head either of the albums? :D
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by DJ Rkod » Thu May 19, 2011 12:27 am

Rdog wrote:Have you head either of the albums? :D
Nein. I have heard some stuff off Trans though, it's not horrible by any means.
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Trevor » Thu May 19, 2011 12:28 am

DJ Rkod wrote: Nein. I have heard some stuff off Trans though, it's not horrible by any means.
We're going easy on each other in this first round. :D
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Rdog » Thu May 19, 2011 12:29 am

Trevor wrote:
We're going easy on each other in this first round. :D
oh we are. :shifty:

uh oh
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Wolfy
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Wolfy » Thu May 19, 2011 12:29 am

You should have gone with Metal Machine Music.
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Trevor » Thu May 19, 2011 12:31 am

Rdog wrote:
oh we are. :shifty:

uh oh
Have you heard Scream?
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Rdog » Thu May 19, 2011 12:32 am

Trevor wrote:
Have you heard Scream?
Nope, I assume based on the reviews, Timbaland involvement and odd genre that it's horrible.
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by DJ Rkod » Thu May 19, 2011 12:33 am

Wolfy wrote:You should have gone with Metal Machine Music.
Best album.
we sing to ourselves in our cars, music is our sanctuary. anywhere you put it it's ours, our living voice, our living testament
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Trevor » Thu May 19, 2011 12:33 am

Rdog wrote:
Nope, I assume based on the reviews, Timbaland involvement and odd genre that it's horrible.
Ah.

Oh, and I just left a super inappropriate comment on your last Facebook status. *feels slightly ashamed*
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Rdog » Thu May 19, 2011 12:34 am

Trevor wrote:
Ah.

Oh, and I just left a super inappropriate comment on your last Facebook status. *feels slightly ashamed*
hehe gonna go read it.
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Trevor » Thu May 19, 2011 1:13 am

Image

Chris Cornell - Scream (2009)

Had this exact album been released by a newcomer or relative unknown artist, it would have immediately shot down into obscurity. No interest garnered, no press, no hot spark waiting tobe ignied. The shocker comes with the realization that Scream is the deformed and unnurished love child of two well respected men in music, Chris Cornell of Soundgarden and Audioslave, and Timbaland, one of the most successful and admired pop producers of the last decade.

Had Cornell proudly acknowledged his roots, his strong traits as a rocker, in this album, its pop-fusion would have made for a moderately interesting experiment. But what we have here is Chris Cornell throwing away his guitar - as literally symbolized on the album cover - and pretending to be a pop singer, in an album produced by a hip-hop/pop artist who's trying to collaborate with a rock musician. Neither are creatively cooporative to the needs of the other, and neither play up to the strengths of themselves or the other. The result is an album which really does not sound much like anything. It's not rock enough to be rock, it's not pop enough to be pop, it's not electronic enough to be electronic. This neutral wall of music refuses to go in any direction, and is by default a blank template of background noise; not by any means insulting to the ears, but artistically abymal in its utter absence of ambition. This is made even more frustrating by its length; across 65-minutes and 14 tracks, Scream never tries more than to hook the listener in with the occasional foot tapping catchy beat; a beat completely forgotten by song's end.

1.5/5?
Compared to how I've been rating albums on RateYourMusic and Sputnik, Scream would find itself roughly at 1.5. But I feel like applying a rating this early into the Avant Crap game would be premature. If the albums get worse from here, which I hope they do, my precedent for bad music will no doubt change. Up to now, I have never intentionally listened to a full album I knew I would dislike, so I can't say that I've listened to many albums that I downright hate.
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Rdog » Thu May 19, 2011 1:36 am

heh awesome write up. I'm going to have to get lower than 1.5 next time. I should be listening to mine shortly.
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Rdog » Thu May 19, 2011 1:49 am

So Trevor, how fast do you want this thread to go? As fast as Metal in a Turtleneck?
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Trevor » Thu May 19, 2011 1:54 am

Rdog wrote:So Trevor, how fast do you want this thread to go? As fast as Metal in a Turtleneck?
As fast as you're willing to go. ;)
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Rdog » Thu May 19, 2011 1:56 am

Trevor wrote:
As fast as you're willing to go. ;)
By tomorrow we'll be on album two then. 8-)
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Rdog » Thu May 19, 2011 2:38 am

oh my god Transformer Man has me dying of laughter.
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Trevor
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Trevor » Thu May 19, 2011 2:49 am

Trans was one of two albums Young did back-to-back that caused his label to actually sue him for making unrepresentative music with little marketability.
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by sevenarts » Thu May 19, 2011 2:53 am

Metal Machine Music is awesome.

As I think I mentioned in another thread, Runzelstirn & Gurgelstock's Asshole/Snail Dilemma somehow became a staff pick at What.cd recently, and the reactions were predictably hilarious. I'd definitely subject someone to that if I were doing this.
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Rdog » Thu May 19, 2011 3:00 am

Image
Neil Young: Trans
Okay first of all I don't think Neil Young could make a bad album even if he tried so with that I will say Trans has it's moments simply because of Neil Young's talent. I think he's doing exactly what he wants to do on this album and that is create something completely unfashionable for popular audiences and Young's fans. So far my only experience of Young's work has been in the album, Live at the Fillmore East 1970, which is a swampy country masterpiece, and to hear something as offbeat as electronic influenced rock music about computers and technology from the same man who sang Down by the River is quite a 180 in style. That being said the album isn't quite as bad as I thought it would be, and there are even a couple of tracks I like for their sheer level of weirdness. Transformer Man and Sample and Hold are weird little Sci-Fi pop songs that come across as both humorous and fun.

There isn't a lot here to talk about in terms of quality outside of a couple moments here and there. Neil Young's talents keep the album from being a step away from insane. It's a hot mess of a record and something that weird Neil Young completists probably even enjoy to some extent. It certainly reaches for places that I don't think Young has ever went for in his career. There are moments here that are just fucking odd and out there and it's kind of a fun record to hear.

I know that the premise of the thread is to listen to albums that are inherently bad but Trans is kind of okay. Some tracks feature the classic Neil Young sound like Mr. Soul and Little Thing Called Love that I'm sure the record company wanted more of but instead Neil Young decided to go fucking electronic and it made for what many consider to be a notoriously bad record and one that I think is fairly solid.

2.5/5
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Stu » Thu May 19, 2011 3:20 am

I'll be PM'ing dog some recs to torture Trev with 8-)
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Trevor » Thu May 19, 2011 3:38 am

Round #2

For RD:

Image

Soulja Boy - Souljaboytellem.com (2007)

Featuring the viral sensation "Crank That (Soulja Boy)".
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Rdog » Thu May 19, 2011 3:39 am

oh fuck.....
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Rdog » Thu May 19, 2011 3:42 am

Image
Album Two:
Metallica: St. Anger
Let's go ahead and get this out of the way. I'm more interested to see your reaction to this more than anything. I personally love this record but it's one of the most universally hated records I've ever come across. I only know of three people ever speak out on behalf of this record. That being One of the guys from That Metal Show, David Fricke from Rolling Stone and myself. Enjoy
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Stu » Thu May 19, 2011 3:42 am

:(
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Trevor » Thu May 19, 2011 3:42 am

I knew you'd be enthusiastic.
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Rdog » Thu May 19, 2011 3:43 am

Trevor wrote:I knew you'd be enthusiastic.
oh totally. :D
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Trevor » Thu May 19, 2011 3:43 am

Rdog wrote:
Image
Album Two:
Metallica: St. Anger
Let's go ahead and get this out of the way. I'm more interested to see your reaction to this more than anything. I personally love this record but it's one of the most universally hated records I've ever come across. I only know of three people ever speak out on behalf of this record. That being One of the guys from That Metal Show, David Fricke from Rolling Stone and myself. Enjoy
Oh. Interesting. I've never actually listened to any post-Black Metallica albums.
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Rdog » Thu May 19, 2011 3:45 am

Trevor wrote:
Oh. Interesting. I've never actually listened to any post-Black Metallica albums.
I hope you like it. Although anyone I've ever come across has loathed St. Anger
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Trevor » Thu May 19, 2011 3:47 am

75 minutes, huh. Oh God, I hope I like it.
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Rdog » Thu May 19, 2011 3:48 am

Trevor wrote:75 minutes, huh. Oh God, I hope I like it.
Every song is too long on that record. Even as a fan I'll say that. There are a couple tracks on there that are just horrible (See Invisible Kid and Dirty Window)
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Rdog » Thu May 19, 2011 3:55 am

I think I'll also be giving St. Anger a spin just for old times sake.
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Re: Avant Crap

Post by Wolfy » Thu May 19, 2011 1:38 pm

Trevor wrote:
Oh. Interesting. I've never actually listened to any post-Black Metallica albums.
This is a good thing.
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