The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Discuss anything you want.
Post Reply
User avatar
Neclord
Posts: 1039
Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:36 am

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Neclord » Wed Dec 30, 2015 5:31 am

Evil Prevails wrote:
oh no
I think you guys overlook that there is a section of Reddit users that exist outside of the preponderance of creepy, rapey, racist subforums on there.
User avatar
Neclord
Posts: 1039
Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:36 am

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Neclord » Wed Dec 30, 2015 5:37 am

I mean if you want feedback on your dating profile and habits from your family and friends on Facebook and in real life, I mean, feel free, I'm sure that won't feel weird at all.
User avatar
The Nameless One
Posts: 16081
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2012 6:18 pm

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by The Nameless One » Wed Dec 30, 2015 5:56 am

I think that this whole internet dating thing is very troubling. Very troubling indeed.

It's like a bunch of people breaking down a Diablo game looking for the best character build but instead of Diablo characters it's yourself. Design by committee - report your success, compile it into the database, use that to springboard you and other followers into the next level of it all. Like, wouldn't everyone end up dating the exact same idea of a person again and again until we are all rendered as Adam and Eve if such a system were to take hold as the norm? Everyone ends up playing hammerdin or MF Blizz Sorc or bone nec (sorry) in such a system.

I say these things because I've been struggling with that scene as it is something I need to pay attention to what with the zeitgeist and all and I don't even know where to begin. The idea of messaging twenty people at a time for romantic procedure sounds absurd to me, especially if there gets to be any overlapping. And having that excuse of an online dating profile encourages the above mentality, and not just saying you but tons of people who I know which talk about this stuff as if it is science class
User avatar
Neclord
Posts: 1039
Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:36 am

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Neclord » Wed Dec 30, 2015 6:34 am

I don't think it's so much putting points into an ideal build until you're Appealing Guy McDatable as it is just becoming a better communicator of the person you are and finding people who are into your weird self. I don't think I come across online as unlike the weirdo I truly am, but I have learned to better communicate my good qualities and I think that feeds back into having a better sense of self worth, which we all are in desperate need of, because who wants to become involved with someone who doesn't have confidence in who they themselves are? It's more important than the volume of messages you send honestly, because your odds for catching the eye of someone who you can vibe with just goes up. And it's just a dumb intermediary for connecting with people, and I've spent enough of my fucking life not connecting with people.

Anyway. I guess I'll just go back to jerking off and crying because I'm so alone now.
User avatar
The Nameless One
Posts: 16081
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2012 6:18 pm

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by The Nameless One » Wed Dec 30, 2015 6:38 am

Neclord wrote:I don't think it's so much putting points into an ideal build until you're Appealing Guy McDatable as it is just becoming a better communicator of the person you are and finding people who are into your weird self. I don't think I come across online as unlike the weirdo I truly am, but I have learned to better communicate my good qualities and I think that feeds back into having a better sense of self worth, which we all are in desperate need of, because who wants to become involved with someone who doesn't have confidence in who they themselves are? It's more important than the volume of messages you send honestly, because your odds for catching the eye of someone who you can vibe with just goes up. And it's just a dumb intermediary for connecting with people, and I've spent enough of my fucking life not connecting with people.

Anyway. I guess I'll just go back to jerking off and crying because I'm so alone now.
Thanks for the response, I think I understand. Think of me right now as in that place where I'm wondering just how the hell I'm supposed to adult. You've got good points there and sorry if I came across as too testy.
User avatar
Neclord
Posts: 1039
Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:36 am

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Neclord » Wed Dec 30, 2015 6:54 am

Eh I'm probably the testy one here, and trust me I don't know how to adult well myself. We're all just trying not to fall off of this bizarre spinning orb.
User avatar
Philosophe rouge
Posts: 22637
Joined: Thu Feb 18, 2010 1:27 am

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Philosophe rouge » Wed Dec 30, 2015 7:27 pm

The thing is - online dating is a numbers game, especially for dudes.

If I set up an online profile, and literally have NO photo and NO description on Okcupid - in a medium sized city, within 24 hours I will have at least 50 messages. If I have a photo and any description, that number will be tripled or more. It is not a reflection on you that you're not getting a response, it's the fact that other people have the numbers on their side and most women have learned not responding at all is a much safer option than trying. You have to stand out and get lucky to wade through - and not take it personally. I know this is difficult to understand since I've tried to help friends with their online dating, because a lot of guys are getting hung up on girls who are "perfect" before even sending a message. Keep it short and simple, and send a lot of messages. My fiancee and I did an experiment a while ago, where he used all the okcupid publically available stats (they explain what kind of answers get the best responses, even something silly like hey versus hello results in different number of responses) and tried to craft a profile around that. I'd say he sent about 500 messages using that, while also utilizing the rating and the questions. He maybe got 50-75 responses, period. More dropped off after first reply.
Everything around me is evaporating. My whole life, my memories, my imagination and its contents, my personality - it's all evaporating. I continuously feel that I was someone else, that I felt something else, that I thought something else. What I'm attending here is a show with another set. And the show I'm attending is myself. Fernando Pessoa

Live. Laugh. Love. - Freddy Krueger
User avatar
The Last Baron
Posts: 23212
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2010 6:29 am
Contact:

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by The Last Baron » Wed Dec 30, 2015 7:46 pm

Fuck. That is very troubling, very troubling.
The Director's Cut + Light & Sound Are Ample Food
last.fmdvdsbooksicheck
It's a Wednesday night baby, and I'm alive
User avatar
Macrology
Posts: 4343
Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 4:54 pm

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Macrology » Wed Dec 30, 2015 8:48 pm

Yeah, I don't even bother messaging girls. I let them find me. I don't get messages very often, but the ones I get are more fruitful than me wasting my time sending out dozens of unanswered messages.
Ma`crol´o`gy
n. 1. Long and tedious talk without much substance; superfluity of words.
User avatar
Neclord
Posts: 1039
Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:36 am

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Neclord » Wed Dec 30, 2015 8:59 pm

I'm a weird outlier as I tend to mostly meet people who've messaged me first, but that didn't really happen until I put some effort into making myself, like, desirable.
User avatar
Obscure
Posts: 19609
Joined: Tue Mar 02, 2010 2:49 pm
Location: Nerdraging about LOST

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Obscure » Wed Dec 30, 2015 9:00 pm

Neclord wrote:I'm a weird outlier as I tend to mostly meet people who've messaged me first, but that didn't really happen until I put some effort into making myself, like, desirable.
To clarify, is it a good idea to talk about pokemon in my profile or not?
User avatar
Neclord
Posts: 1039
Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:36 am

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Neclord » Wed Dec 30, 2015 9:15 pm

Obscure wrote: To clarify, is it a good idea to talk about pokemon in my profile or not?
Only if you word it as "I'm looking for the special trainer who's gotta catch my heart."
User avatar
The Last Baron
Posts: 23212
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2010 6:29 am
Contact:

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by The Last Baron » Wed Dec 30, 2015 9:15 pm

I'd like to try Bumble but I currently don't have a device that supports it

I think I'm just gonna do whatever the fuck I like with my profile now. As it is, it's pretty harmless and not at all who I am which really bothers me. Don't know what I can do about my pictures, I don't really have photogenic hobbies and I don't get out and socialize a whole lot either. Selfies, especially shirtless ones, seem to be highly discouraged so I can't impress anyone with my manscaping. So, I don't know.
Obscure wrote: To clarify, is it a good idea to talk about pokemon in my profile or not?
Only if it's about how many grand masterships you've acquired across each game
The Director's Cut + Light & Sound Are Ample Food
last.fmdvdsbooksicheck
It's a Wednesday night baby, and I'm alive
User avatar
Mean Old Bastard Ed
Posts: 2637
Joined: Sat Apr 10, 2010 2:42 am

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Mean Old Bastard Ed » Wed Dec 30, 2015 9:16 pm

Porn site boards are really the only place to meet worthwhile women.
User avatar
The Nameless One
Posts: 16081
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2012 6:18 pm

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by The Nameless One » Wed Dec 30, 2015 9:22 pm

manscaping?
User avatar
The Last Baron
Posts: 23212
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2010 6:29 am
Contact:

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by The Last Baron » Wed Dec 30, 2015 9:23 pm

The latest in personal hygiene
The Director's Cut + Light & Sound Are Ample Food
last.fmdvdsbooksicheck
It's a Wednesday night baby, and I'm alive
User avatar
The Nameless One
Posts: 16081
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2012 6:18 pm

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by The Nameless One » Wed Dec 30, 2015 9:28 pm

The Last Baron wrote:The latest in personal hygiene
This avatar is a powerful allusion to the quality of my hair. I use tools on my face along with witch hazel and caffeine liquid for puffy eyes

Manscaping... I require elaboration if you may
User avatar
Ace
Posts: 23802
Joined: Fri Jun 18, 2010 11:11 pm
Contact:

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Ace » Wed Dec 30, 2015 9:37 pm

The Nameless One wrote:This avatar is a powerful allusion to the quality of my hair. I use tools on my face along with witch hazel and caffeine liquid for puffy eyes

Manscaping... I require elaboration if you may
You mean trimming the hedges?
Co host of the Film Raiders Podcast.
Were on Spotify, Itunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher, TuneIn, Blubrr,Iheartradio and many more.
User avatar
The Last Baron
Posts: 23212
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2010 6:29 am
Contact:

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by The Last Baron » Wed Dec 30, 2015 9:40 pm

The Nameless One wrote:This avatar is a powerful allusion to the quality of my hair. I use tools on my face along with witch hazel and caffeine liquid for puffy eyes

Manscaping... I require elaboration if you may
Basically it's just trimming body hair to achieve an aesthetically pleasing look, if such a thing is possible. Things like giving your chest and belly hair a fade as you get down to the waist.

The internet told me at one point that this is an actual thing people do
The Director's Cut + Light & Sound Are Ample Food
last.fmdvdsbooksicheck
It's a Wednesday night baby, and I'm alive
User avatar
The Nameless One
Posts: 16081
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2012 6:18 pm

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by The Nameless One » Wed Dec 30, 2015 9:43 pm

The Last Baron wrote:Things like giving your chest and belly hair a fade as you get down to the waist.

The internet told me at one point that this is an actual thing people do
OH MY FUC*covers hand over mouth... screams in it*
User avatar
Obscure
Posts: 19609
Joined: Tue Mar 02, 2010 2:49 pm
Location: Nerdraging about LOST

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Obscure » Wed Dec 30, 2015 9:57 pm

Neclord wrote:
Only if you word it as "I'm looking for the special trainer who's gotta catch my heart."
The Last Baron wrote:Only if it's about how many grand masterships you've acquired across each game
These are the smoothest posts I've ever seen.
User avatar
LadyStranger
Posts: 11287
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 9:03 pm

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by LadyStranger » Fri Jan 01, 2016 3:52 am

Neclord wrote:I'm a weird outlier as I tend to mostly meet people who've messaged me first, but that didn't really happen until I put some effort into making myself, like, desirable.
I've only ever met guys from okcupid who I have messaged first. The site has a nice balance of personal information spaces- details and question data - that gives me enough of a feel for the individual before you even have to consider meeting them. Tinder and Bumble do not and I think this is why I have met more men via OKC.
User avatar
Bandy Greensacks
Posts: 11545
Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2010 3:08 am

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Bandy Greensacks » Fri Jan 01, 2016 9:46 pm

So um, kind of had a four-way on New Year's Eve

Still trying to process it
User avatar
Ace
Posts: 23802
Joined: Fri Jun 18, 2010 11:11 pm
Contact:

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Ace » Fri Jan 01, 2016 10:34 pm

Four way? Wouldn't that just be considered swinging?
Co host of the Film Raiders Podcast.
Were on Spotify, Itunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher, TuneIn, Blubrr,Iheartradio and many more.
User avatar
Bandy Greensacks
Posts: 11545
Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2010 3:08 am

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Bandy Greensacks » Fri Jan 01, 2016 10:50 pm

Ace wrote:Four way? Wouldn't that just be considered swinging?
You could call it that, yeah

It was kind of unexpected, but fun
User avatar
LadyStranger
Posts: 11287
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 9:03 pm

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by LadyStranger » Thu Jan 07, 2016 4:09 am

Last night, I went on a date with an awesome british guy with loads of energry, who hates Drive but loves onion rings and The Force Awakens <3
Despite the Drive hate... pretty much the best date ever. He made me laugh and smile so much my face hurt after.
User avatar
Ace
Posts: 23802
Joined: Fri Jun 18, 2010 11:11 pm
Contact:

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Ace » Thu Jan 07, 2016 4:20 am

Maybe he hates drive cuz of Ryan Gosling haha.
Co host of the Film Raiders Podcast.
Were on Spotify, Itunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher, TuneIn, Blubrr,Iheartradio and many more.
User avatar
LadyStranger
Posts: 11287
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 9:03 pm

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by LadyStranger » Thu Jan 07, 2016 4:24 am

Ace wrote:Maybe he hates drive cuz of Ryan Gosling haha.
hey girl
User avatar
Philosophe rouge
Posts: 22637
Joined: Thu Feb 18, 2010 1:27 am

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Philosophe rouge » Thu Jan 07, 2016 4:24 am

LadyStranger wrote:Last night, I went on a date with an awesome british guy with loads of energry, who hates Drive but loves onion rings and The Force Awakens <3
Despite the Drive hate... pretty much the best date ever. He made me laugh and smile so much my face hurt after.
awww this makes me happy
Everything around me is evaporating. My whole life, my memories, my imagination and its contents, my personality - it's all evaporating. I continuously feel that I was someone else, that I felt something else, that I thought something else. What I'm attending here is a show with another set. And the show I'm attending is myself. Fernando Pessoa

Live. Laugh. Love. - Freddy Krueger
User avatar
Epistemophobia
Posts: 29797
Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2009 12:21 am
Location: London
Contact:

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Epistemophobia » Thu Jan 07, 2016 4:25 am

my face hurts if i smile at all
User avatar
Mean Old Bastard Ed
Posts: 2637
Joined: Sat Apr 10, 2010 2:42 am

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Mean Old Bastard Ed » Thu Jan 07, 2016 4:25 am

Wait--people go on actual physical "dates" still? I thought it was all just Skypeing and fapping now... :?
User avatar
Neclord
Posts: 1039
Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:36 am

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Neclord » Thu Jan 07, 2016 5:37 am

go mallory, go go go mallory

I had a date with a cool girl last night who told me some places to check out in NYC and let me kiss her and it was just really cool.
User avatar
ledfloyd
Posts: 9040
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 8:25 pm

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by ledfloyd » Fri Jan 08, 2016 3:02 am

Guys, Neclord is kissing too many girls. We need to have an intervention.
User avatar
Neclord
Posts: 1039
Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:36 am

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Neclord » Fri Jan 08, 2016 4:13 am

I'm not kissing ENOUGH
User avatar
Quite-Gone Genie
Posts: 22846
Joined: Sat Feb 20, 2010 4:36 pm

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Quite-Gone Genie » Tue Jan 12, 2016 5:29 am

I love spam sometimes.

"InstaBangMsg: Do you want to spemd [sic] YOUR NIGHT with Erminie M. Macauley?"

Yeah, because nothing gets me harder than some chick named Erminie.
"So, you see, he was condemned to walk in darkness a quadrillion kilometres (we've adopted the metric system, you know)..."
The Devil, The Brothers Karamazov
User avatar
LadyStranger
Posts: 11287
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 9:03 pm

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by LadyStranger » Thu Jan 14, 2016 5:19 am

ugh british guy doesn't want a relationship. nope.
User avatar
Neclord
Posts: 1039
Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:36 am

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Neclord » Thu Jan 14, 2016 5:53 am

I am feeling a bit torn between the super cool girl who seems to be the monogamous type and the aromantic poly girl who wants me to visit her in Seattle and have sex with her and her roommate. Weird times
User avatar
Quite-Gone Genie
Posts: 22846
Joined: Sat Feb 20, 2010 4:36 pm

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Quite-Gone Genie » Thu Jan 14, 2016 5:55 am

Neclord wrote:I am feeling a bit torn between the super cool girl who seems to be the monogamous type and the aromantic poly girl who wants me to visit her in Seattle and have sex with her and her roommate. Weird times
Do the second two first and then go be monogamous until she changes her mind.
"So, you see, he was condemned to walk in darkness a quadrillion kilometres (we've adopted the metric system, you know)..."
The Devil, The Brothers Karamazov
User avatar
LadyStranger
Posts: 11287
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 9:03 pm

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by LadyStranger » Thu Jan 14, 2016 5:59 am

do what makes you happy.
User avatar
Quite-Gone Genie
Posts: 22846
Joined: Sat Feb 20, 2010 4:36 pm

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Quite-Gone Genie » Thu Jan 14, 2016 6:06 am

Do what must be done.
"So, you see, he was condemned to walk in darkness a quadrillion kilometres (we've adopted the metric system, you know)..."
The Devil, The Brothers Karamazov
User avatar
Ace
Posts: 23802
Joined: Fri Jun 18, 2010 11:11 pm
Contact:

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Ace » Thu Jan 14, 2016 6:32 am

Quite-Gone Genie wrote:Do what must be done.
See Genie is trying to Jedi mind trick into "I will finish what you started" aka have copious amounts of sex.
Co host of the Film Raiders Podcast.
Were on Spotify, Itunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher, TuneIn, Blubrr,Iheartradio and many more.
User avatar
traz
Posts: 5600
Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2010 12:43 am

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by traz » Fri Jan 22, 2016 6:05 pm

OMG I'm going to shoot myself.

I'm helping this friend of mine (who is really fiances friend) to put together a poker room thing. I hooked him up with a vintage poker table and I arranged to purchase some folding chairs for him on the cheap.

Fiance had to work this morning from 4am - 9am. I agreed that he would call me when he was on his way back and I would be ready. I accidentaly left my ringer off and I didn't hear the call. He showed up at home, I said 'okay I'll be dressed in 5 minutes' and he says, 'no we're not going'

I was not particularly attached to going. It's not my thing, it's a FAVOUR TO HIS FRIEND. I wasn't upset, I didn't insist we go, I simply said 'okay, I'll work something else out'

but instead of leaving it t I had to endure about half an hour of fiance manically discussing this thing I don't care about. Talking really loudly and carrying on like a nut case. We both fall asleep again, wake up and he starts all over.

He often acts insane when he has to work that early because he finds it really stressful but holy fuck I'm ripping my hair out over here because he insists we keep talking about it!!!

I DON"T CARE
User avatar
TheAsianSensation
Posts: 5482
Joined: Thu Feb 18, 2010 5:12 am

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by TheAsianSensation » Wed Jan 27, 2016 5:00 am

*sees online dating conversation above*

*is triggered*

I've straight given up. It's actually a refreshing feeling. I recommend it as a stress-free alternative.
User avatar
Neclord
Posts: 1039
Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:36 am

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Neclord » Wed Jan 27, 2016 6:09 pm

Sex > no sex
User avatar
Smoke Bomb
Posts: 1953
Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2014 7:42 pm

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Smoke Bomb » Wed Jan 27, 2016 8:30 pm

Neclord wrote:Sex > no sex
Keep rubbing it in Casanova.
User avatar
Philosophe rouge
Posts: 22637
Joined: Thu Feb 18, 2010 1:27 am

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Philosophe rouge » Thu Jan 28, 2016 1:51 am

Neclord wrote:Sex > no sex
agreed
Everything around me is evaporating. My whole life, my memories, my imagination and its contents, my personality - it's all evaporating. I continuously feel that I was someone else, that I felt something else, that I thought something else. What I'm attending here is a show with another set. And the show I'm attending is myself. Fernando Pessoa

Live. Laugh. Love. - Freddy Krueger
User avatar
Mean Old Bastard Ed
Posts: 2637
Joined: Sat Apr 10, 2010 2:42 am

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Mean Old Bastard Ed » Thu Jan 28, 2016 4:23 am

Where does cybersex fit in that equation?
User avatar
The Last Baron
Posts: 23212
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2010 6:29 am
Contact:

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by The Last Baron » Sat Jan 30, 2016 2:44 am

So I've started swiping based on first impressions because anything more involved is a waste of time, I've added what I think are better photos, had some fun with the wording of my profile, and now I'm getting zero matches despite the much higher number of people I'm swiping on.

I can't win. Maybe this is punishment for being an accidental asshole to the last girl I matched with.
The Director's Cut + Light & Sound Are Ample Food
last.fmdvdsbooksicheck
It's a Wednesday night baby, and I'm alive
User avatar
Evil Prevails
Posts: 12382
Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:37 am

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Evil Prevails » Sat Jan 30, 2016 3:01 am

Better than being an accidental racist.
User avatar
Trip
Posts: 70527
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 7:47 am

Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Post by Trip » Sat Jan 30, 2016 1:33 pm

Gladimeir15 wrote:In my insights, I think internet dating gives more benefits to the people who do not want to mingle in personal publicly. They just want to see girls on internet and try their luck of love out there. :)
*whips out notepad*

MORE
Please TRIP and Die
Post Reply