Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

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Rump
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Mon Jan 06, 2020 4:05 pm


94th
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Crazy Eights (2006)

Six people are brought together at the funeral of a childhood friend. While settling the estate, they discover a map, which leads them on a search for a long forgotten time capsule, at the request of their dead friend. What they discover reawakens repressed childhood traumas and leads them on a journey through their long abandoned childhood home: a home with a terrible secret and a mysterious dead girl who will lead them to their strange fates.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srsYbxcwqXc&t=32s

"I think I just threw up in my mouth... " - IMDB
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Mon Jan 06, 2020 4:15 pm


93rd
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The Incantation (2018)

In this picturesque paranormal thriller, a young American girl, Lucy Bellerose (Sam Valentine), has a chance of a lifetime to visit her ancestors ominous castle in the south of France. However, things are not as they seem as she finds that her family is hiding deep, dark secrets about their nefarious past, far away from prying eyes. Unbeknownst to Lucy, the region is also home to centuries of witchcraft and occult folklore. After meeting the strident Vicar of Borley and her socially awkward Chambermaid, Mary, Lucy begins to question her place in the family. Abel Baddon, a devilishly handsome traveling salesman, (Dean Cain "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman"), tries to assuage her fears and soothe her reluctance. However, only after meeting a charming gravedigger named J.P. (Dylan Kellogg) does she begin to feel at ease. He navigates her through the twists and turns of the murky waters of her family's past, eventually uncovering shocking revelations.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EARmKIxjxQ

I actually watched this thinking that priest is soooooooo Dean Cain in a beard and it will be revealed he's a crazy brother or sumthin'.... but it ain't :shock:
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Mon Jan 06, 2020 4:28 pm


92nd
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Voyage of the Rock Aliens (1984)

Aliens land in the mythical town of "Speelburgh, U.S.A" searching for the source of rock & roll. What they find is a gang of teenagers, led by Dee Dee (the inimitable Pia Zadora) and Frankie, along with Frankie's posse/rock band, the Pack. The leader of the aliens takes a shine to Dee Dee and all sorts of trouble breaks out.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AiOVIk7Nh4

"This film is atrocious. The acting is bad, every joke falls flat, and the aliens are annoying beyond belief" - IMDB
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Mon Jan 06, 2020 4:34 pm


91st
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Disaster Movie (2008)

Will, Lisa, and two of their friends attempt to flee man-made and natural disasters and encounter Batman, Hancock, The Hulk, Indiana Jones, Hannah Montana, Michael Jackson, Beowulf, the Love Guru, Iron Man, rabid chipmunks amongst others in their seemingly vain efforts to seek help and shelter from unknown threats.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYBeeloO-ac

Fortunately the Enchanted girl was funny, the rest is awful of course :up:
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Wooley » Mon Jan 06, 2020 9:13 pm

Rump wrote:
Sun Jan 05, 2020 5:26 pm

110th
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Shock Treatment (1981)

Following on from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show", this musical is set several years later in Brad and Janet Majors' hometown - which has become a giant TV station; residents are either participants or viewers. They are married now, but their romance has fallen on the rocks. Ostensibly to fix their marriage, Brad is imprisoned on the program "Dentonvale" (the local mental hospital) while Janet is conscripted to become a new star. As Janet is entranced by the high life, she forgets Brad. Who is trying to woo her away?
2/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0W9QGH3lFa0

Wooley :up: :P
Oh, come on!
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Apex Predator » Mon Jan 06, 2020 10:16 pm

Rump wrote:
Mon Jan 06, 2020 4:34 pm

91st
Image
Disaster Movie (2008)

Will, Lisa, and two of their friends attempt to flee man-made and natural disasters and encounter Batman, Hancock, The Hulk, Indiana Jones, Hannah Montana, Michael Jackson, Beowulf, the Love Guru, Iron Man, rabid chipmunks amongst others in their seemingly vain efforts to seek help and shelter from unknown threats.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYBeeloO-ac

Fortunately the Enchanted girl was funny, the rest is awful of course :up:
Thanks. Now I know which one of those I've seen. May have also seen part of Epic Movie. Agree with your assessment on this.
I didn't hate Epic Movie, btw.
Also will agree on the From Justin to Kelly movie. Nothing wrong with a good beach movie, but the two top scorers from American Idol Season 1 are no Frankie and Annette, that's for sure.

Unfortunately for Wooley, I agree with you on Grease 2. Outside of seeing Michelle Pfeiffer, not much to make one's engines rev up.
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 08, 2020 10:37 pm


90th
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Stan Helsing (2009)

It's Halloween night, and slacker video clerk Stan Helsing along with his insanely sexy ex-girlfriend , best buddy and an exotic dancer/'massage therapist' - detours into a town cursed by the biggest monsters in movie history: Freddy, Jason , Pinhead , Leatherface , Chucky , & Michael Myers.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srbmLtGc6vQ

"There is nothing funny at all, it just drags on and on and you'll find yourself begging for the end. Not even to see how it ends, just because of the sweet release from watching" - IMDB
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 08, 2020 10:43 pm


89th
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Bates Motel (1987)

A mentally disturbed man, who roomed with the late Norman Bates at the state lunatic asylum, inherits the legendary Bates Motel after the death of Norman and tries to fix it up to make it a respectable business.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrBxCSdw7Ns

This made for TV film is a pilot for a TV series that never materialized (until now of course) nor is this film in any way a part of the "Psycho" franchise. - Trivia
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 08, 2020 10:52 pm


88th
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Killer Unicorn (2018)

Danny is your average Brooklyn party boy. This year, he and his friends couldn't be more excited about the upcoming "Brooklyn Annual Enema Party;" one of Brooklyn's biggest parties, the event is a place "where you come to get douched and dance." While the night starts out fun, it quickly takes a turn for the worse when Danny is attacked by a stranger. In the end, his fabulous drag queen and queer friends are able to save his life, but not without deadly consequences. A year later, Danny is still going throughout the aftermath of that horrible incident and refuses to go to this year's upcoming "Brooklyn Annual Enema Party," despite the pressure of his close friends Cholata, Collin and Gayson. His friends want Danny to face his fears and go back out into the world. Danny refuses, but when a new boy, PuppyPup, enters his life, Danny decides to give his social life and the Brooklyn nightlife scene a second chance. It isn't until his friends start to disappear
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbwROU5IRTA

"I hated every frame" - IMDB

It does have sick and inventive kills like an acid enema and fisting with a severed hand :shock:
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:16 pm


87th
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Kung Pow: Enter the Fist (2002)

Writer/director Steve Oedekerk uses contemporary characters and splices them into a 1970s kung-fu film, weaving the new and old together. As the main character, The Chosen One, Oedekerk sets off to avenge the deaths of his parents at the hands of kung-fu legend Master Pain. Along the way, he encounters some strange characters, one of which is a cow trained in the martial arts.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXrAYdSeWY8

"Many may say I'm being unreasonable, but I must say that a rating of 1/10 is much too high for such a horrible, grossly disgusting, piggishly, torturingly detestable, crappy, nasty, stupid, immature pile of dog doo that some call a movie." - IMDB
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:23 pm


86th
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The Appearance (2018)

When a medieval monk unexpectedly dies in a horrific way, the Church sends Mateho the Inquisitor, a rational man of science, to investigate the alleged 'witch'. When Mateho himself becomes implicated as more monks die mysteriously, he must learn that science cannot explain the horrors around him, before he is seduced by the evil that haunts this monastery.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLx3P6animg

Yawnerific :oops:
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:28 pm


85th
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The Master of Disguise (2002)

A sweet-natured Italian waiter named Pistachio Disguisey at his father Fabbrizio's restaurant, who happens to be a member of a family with supernatural skills of disguise. But moments later the patriarch of the Disguisey family is kidnapped Fabbrizio's former arch-enemy, Devlin Bowman, a criminal mastermind in an attempt to steal the world's most precious treasures from around the world. And it's up to Pistachio to track down Bowman and save his family before Bowman kills them!
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bF4wRsKKrdw

"In a 40-year career in horror, David Cronenberg never dreamed up an image as chilling or stomach-churning as Dana Carvey as a human turtle" - rottentomatoes
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:32 pm


84th
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Return of the Killer Tomatoes! (1988)

Mad scientist Professor Gangreen is cooking up the second coming of the Great Tomato Uprising, in which music converted tomatoes into human form to war against mankind. Pizza delivery man Chad Finletter must save the world and beautiful tomato-girl Tara.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aIXhmygh3A

Yep just as unfunny as the first :down: Thank god for the hottie and clooneys glorious mullet :up:
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:39 pm


83rd
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The Mod Squad (1999)

Three minor delinquints (Danes, Ribisi, and Epps) are recruited by a cop (Farina) working undercover to bust a cop/drug ring. When the officer who recruited them is killed, they go above and beyond the call of duty to solve the murder; and bust the drug ring. Suffering the jibes, and ridicule of fellow officers; they struggle to save their names, and that of their deceased benefactor.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67cdXuWnRKs

"Whatever countercultural kick the original Mod Squad had going for it, it has long since faded like a favorite pair of blue jeans, the kind you remember fondly but wouldn't dream of wearing again" - IMDB
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:44 pm


82nd
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Repossessed (1990)

It's been some time since Father Jebedaiah Mayii exorcised the devil from little Nancy Aglet, but now Nancy has grown up and has a family, the demon returns and repossesses Nancy. With Father Mayii unwilling to help, Father Luke Brophy tries his best to help Nancy, even when TV's Ernest Weller plans to air the exorcism live on TV.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vQINQcIWOc

"The movie is a comedy(?) about The Exorcist, though I think I found The Exorcist to be a lot funnier"
- IMDB
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:54 pm


81st
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Teen Wolf Too (1987)

Jason Bateman stars in this sequel to Teen Wolf as the original's cousin, Todd. Though not a boxer, he receives a college boxing scholarship, and upon discovering that he is afflicted with the same werewolf genetics, transforms from unremarkable to unbelievable.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2XVkDTO0UY

"The end product is not so much a terrible film in that everything was misjudged but rather a terrible film because nobody seems to have given a single, flying f**k about it? "
- IMDB
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Apex Predator » Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:56 pm

The Repossessed deserved better. It's not a great spoof film, but it's certainly better than the Fill in the Blank Movie and some of Leslie's later films.

The Mod Squad, um yeah. That was turrible. If you have to explain in the opening credits what the word Mod means, you've already lost.

Also, could live without seeing Ribisi shirtless ever again.
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Thu Jan 09, 2020 12:54 am

Apex Predator wrote:
Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:56 pm
Also, could live without seeing Ribisi shirtless ever again.
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Rawwrrrrr :P
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Apex Predator » Thu Jan 09, 2020 1:00 am

What you did, Rumpled, I see it.

Shame, shame. :P
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Tue Jan 21, 2020 5:16 pm


80th
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Arabian Adventure (1979)

This colorful, special-effects-laden adventure is the perfect cure for a rainy Saturday afternoon at home with the kids, or any other time the viewer is interested in having some mindless fun at the movies. It tells the story of a courageous prince who faces all sorts of danger to save his true love from a nasty necromancer. Along the way, a beautiful street urchin gives the good prince a magical rose with which to destroy the wicked wizard.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Is8j7EckESY&t=90s

"Even Peter Cushing puts in a cameo role as a prisoner (!), only two years after STAR WARS and he was reduced to this level - oh what a sad state of affairs. "
- IMDB
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Tue Jan 21, 2020 5:27 pm


79th
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Flight 666 (2018)

Passengers and crew on an international flight are attacked by unseen forces that threaten all aboard and on the ground below them. As they fight to stay alive, they start to realize that these are actually the spirits of murdered girls determined to stop their killer on board who will do anything to remain free.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvE-Uv0BxWU

"To say this film is a travesty against all mankind is an understatement, the equivalent of which is like saying you wouldn't enjoy an entire eggplant being forcibly shoved into your rectum. "
- IMDB

I've been on 9 flights in the last 5 months and i've never seen aisles that spacious!!!! :shock:
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Tue Jan 21, 2020 5:44 pm


78th
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Attack of the Killer Donuts (2016)

A chemical accident in a sleepy town turns ordinary donuts into bloodthirsty monsters. Unaware of the donuts' danger, Johnny, Michelle and Howard sell them to unsuspecting customers. When the donuts start eating their victims, the only way the three friends can save their sleepy town is to track down the Killer Donuts down and destroy them. The final standoff is where it all began: Dandy Donuts.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6RBv5vzzTs

"Poor C Thomas Howell first a crazy hitchhiker tries to kill him, then he has to use black face to get into college, then bees try to kill him, then aliens attack, then ants try to kill him, then he goes back in time and a dinosaur tries to kill him, then camel spiders try to kill him, then he gets stuck in a hurricane, now it's donuts trying to kill him?"
- IMDB
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Apex Predator » Thu Jan 23, 2020 8:56 pm

Killer Donuts? Wow, you've scraped the bottom of the barrel.
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Fri Jan 24, 2020 11:04 am


77th
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Assimilate (2019)

Best friends Zach, Randy, and Kayla discover that their neighbors are being killed and replaced by perfect copies of their victims. Their only chance to survive is to covertly record the invasion in a desperate attempt to warn the world.
4/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EtFRhzFvDM&t=57s

"Very boring clone of "Bodysnatchers", with modern tropes added for modern idiots"
- IMDB
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Fri Jan 24, 2020 11:15 am


76th
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Leonard Part 6 (1987)

The C.I.A. asks for ex-spy Leonard Parker's (Bill Cosby's) help in stopping evil genius Medusa Johnson (Gloria Foster), who is brainwashing small animals into killing people. Leonard, however, has his own problems to deal with: winning back his ex-wife.
4/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZMMPvHICPs

"This movie should have been considered when sentencing Cosby."
- youtube
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Fri Jan 24, 2020 11:22 am


75th
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Pentathlon (1994)

After winning the Olympic gold medal in the Pentathlon, East German Eric Brogar escapes to freedom in the United States. But his former coach vows revenge. When Eric's sadistic ex-coach finds him, Eric is caught in a deadly game fighting for his life.
4/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZMMPvHICPs

Hilarity ensues as Dolph uses his pentathalon skills to escape capture... "oh wow who left this horse here!!! ...and cool someone dropped some fencing swords.. two of em!!!" :P
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Fri Jan 24, 2020 11:43 am


74th
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Wild Cherry (2009)

When a high school senior finds out that she's about to be crossed off her jock boyfriend's sex list right before giving him her virginity, she enlists her friends to plan the ultimate revenge in this teen comedy from director Dana Lustig (Confessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber). Rob Schneider stars as the girl's father, with Tania Raymonde, Kristin Cavallari, Rumer Willis and Ryan Merriman rounding out the rest of the cast.
4/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkKvjLkEMWc

"Why did i give this film a 10? Because it's got soul. To me soul is a summary of everything that is important in a film. No matter what genre of film or production cost or whatever. It's a simple film that address important things and it does it well. I would be happy knowing that my younger teenage siblings and cousins watched this film. The actors in the film are good and not afraid to stick their necks out to be funny. Tia Carrere and Rob Schnider are legends." - IMDB :D
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Fri Jan 24, 2020 11:50 am


73rd
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Breaking Wind (2012)

The director of The 40 Year Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Super Bad About It turns his satirical sights on the Twilight Saga in this spoof that finds brooding teen Stella torn between a vain bloodsucker named Edward, and a randy lycanthrope named Jacob.
4/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPKiqWqgfx0

"Craig Moss, you need to stop your constant attempts at film making. You are not funny, you are not creative, you are not intelligent. I will tell you this, if I see you in person, I will punch you in the face. i won't say anything, I will just punch you in the face and walk away." - IMDB :D

lol in fairness this one did have a few chuckles to be had, i think reviewers didn't even watch it and thought it was a friedberg and seltzer film.
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Fri Jan 24, 2020 11:58 am


72nd
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Bloody Murder 2: Closing Camp (2003)

A girl named Tracy is with a bunch of teens closing up camp. She keeps having dreams about her brother who dissappeared there and it was rumored he was killed by Trevor Moorehouse, and of course guess who shows up for blood.
4/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXWM7HG6zMg

It's at least better than the first one :up:
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Fri Jan 24, 2020 12:07 pm


71st
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College Road Trip (2008)

Melanie Porter (Raven-Symone)is a talented high school graduate who has selected a University 800 miles from home. Her over protective father, James (Martin Lawrence) doesn't want her to be so far away, so he cooks up a plot to try to convince her to go to a local University. On the guise of going to her selected university, he forces a visit to his preferred (close to home) school. This is a typical road trip movie with lost cars, bumming rides on buses and planes, covering that difficult time of life when a father loses control of his daughter.
4/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E4V-W9fH0w

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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Death Proof » Fri Jan 24, 2020 1:27 pm

Holy shit, you actually watched Leonard Part 6 and it wasn't even the worst movie of the bunch? *mind blown*
Ain't no grave gonna hold this body down
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Apex Predator » Fri Jan 24, 2020 6:06 pm

Death Proof wrote:
Fri Jan 24, 2020 1:27 pm
Holy shit, you actually watched Leonard Part 6 and it wasn't even the worst movie of the bunch? *mind blown*
To be fair, there's a ludicrous side of the film starting with the CIA trying to bring him out of retirement by trying to kill him.

Throw in Gloria Foster eating random fruits handed to her by underlings and numerous product placements (the scene where he's talking to his daughter's director while angling the Coke can for maximum effect is notorious). If it weren't for Bill's extracurricular activities, this would qualify as a midnight movie.
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Charles » Sun Jan 26, 2020 12:34 am

I'm watching Flight 666 and Assimilate for sure. 4/10 is high enough to recommend with a good enough screenshot.
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Sun Jan 26, 2020 12:25 pm

Charles wrote:
Sun Jan 26, 2020 12:34 am
I'm watching Flight 666 and Assimilate for sure. 4/10 is high enough to recommend with a good enough screenshot.
:shock:
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Sun Jan 26, 2020 12:32 pm


70th
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Once Upon a Time in Venice (2017)

Steve Ford (Bruce Willis) is a down but not out L.A based Private Investigator whose professional and personal worlds collide after his loving pet Buddy is stolen by a notorious gang. A series of crazy circumstances find him doing the gang's bidding, while being chased by two vengeful Samoan brothers, a loan shark's goons, and a few other shady characters. They say a dog is a man's best friend, and Steve shows how far a man will go to be reunited with him.
4/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWV4rxyA-70

Well it looked like the cast had fun... alas we didn't :(
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Sun Jan 26, 2020 12:43 pm


69th
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Tentacles (1977)

Several people disappear from and at the sea. Their bodies are found gnawed to the skeleton, even the marrow is missing. The scientists have no idea which animal could do such things. Dr. Turner begins to suspect that the company which builds a tunnel beneath the bay might have poisoned the environment and caused an octopus to mutate to giant dimensions. Just at the same time a great sailing regatta with many children is started - among them Turner's nephew Tommy.
4/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMDDAv8g54w

"The giant octopus is rarely seen, and when it is, it's pretty much obvious that it's a regular octopus filmed at angles and with bubbles thrown in to demonstrate violence in the water." - IMDB :D
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Sun Jan 26, 2020 12:49 pm


68th
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Girls with Balls (2018)

All girls volley ball team The Falcons end up stranded in the middle of nowhere after their mini-van breaks down. Little do they know they landed in degenerate hunters' territory and the hunt is on. Thus begins a very long night where they must run for their lives and test their team spirit. But the girls are more resourceful than it appears. In the heart of the forest, the tables are about to turn between hunter and hunted...
4/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9X0GMOcZnYw

"This how I felt about it some good scenes in the trailer. And I turn it off so I can watch Howard the Duck." - IMDB
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Sun Jan 26, 2020 12:59 pm


67th
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Howard The Duck (1986)

A scientific experiment unknowingly brings extraterrestrial life forms to the Earth through a laser beam. First is the cigar smoking drake Howard from the duck's planet. A few kids try to keep him from the greedy scientists and help him back to his planet. But then a much less friendly being arrives through the beam...
4/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2RNrmCJLtA

"It's a long journey from this to his 1 second cameo in the final battle of Endgame." - youtube

Now i'm gonna have to watch endgame again!!! :P
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Rump
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Sun Jan 26, 2020 1:23 pm


66th
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Blood Theatre (1984)

Was actually filmed sometime between 1978 and 1984. Cult fave Mary Woronov heads the cast of this slasher-in-the-theater opus. A mulitplex mogul decides to reopen a "haunted" theatre where, eleven years earlier, the manager went bonkers, killed a ticket taker, and set the place ablaze. Since the mogul is blatantly a crook, something real bad is bound to happen when he renovates the old movie house. In fact, the carnage begins even before the gala opening (thereby cutting down on the number of extras).
4/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCiZJWRgTQ8

Crumbsroom & Jinnistan :up:
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Rump
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Sun Jan 26, 2020 1:30 pm


65th
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House of the Witch (2017)

A group of high-school kids set out to play a Halloween prank at an abandoned house, but once they enter they become victims of a demonic witch who has set her wrath upon them.
4/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olNki4EFfpU

"Don't waste your time with this movie unless you are a cognitively challenged 13 year old girl" - IMDB
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Rump
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Sun Jan 26, 2020 1:45 pm


64th
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Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous (2005)

FBI agent-turned-reluctant beauty queen Gracie Hart (played by Sandra Bullock) is taking on both bad guys and high glamour again in this sequel to the comedy smash Miss Congeniality. After her undercover mission at the Miss United States pageant becomes public knowledge, Gracie becomes something of a celebrity, and the FBI uses her notoriety to generate positive PR for the bureau; however, Gracie would like to get back to some solid police work, especially after scuffling with fellow female agent "Sam" Fuller (Regina King), who isn't impressed with Gracie. Despite their differences, the two find themselves working side by side when two of Gracie's pals from the pageant -- contest winner Cheryl Frasier (Heather Burns) and master of ceremonies Stan Fields (William Shatner) -- fall victim to kidnappers.
4/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYy9ncGYXsE

"It takes big balls to publicly complain about what was sure to be a bad sequel to a mediocre movie... and I have those balls. What a piece of crap." - IMDB
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Rump
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Sun Jan 26, 2020 1:49 pm


63rd
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Ad Astra (2019)

Astronaut Roy McBride (Brad Pitt) travels to the outer edges of the solar system to find his missing father and unravel a mystery that threatens the survival of our planet. His journey will uncover secrets that challenge the nature of human existence and our place in the cosmos.
4/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYLQdxec5lM

Waaa.. daddy didn't love me.. waaa.. :roll:
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Rump
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Sun Jan 26, 2020 1:57 pm


62nd
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Striptease (1996)

Erin Grant loses care and custody of her daughter when she's divorced from her husband Darrell, a small-time thief. Struggling for money, she is a dancer at a nightclub, where one night Congressman Dilbeck (in disguise) attacks another member of the audience. A spectator, who recognizes Dilbeck and is fond of Erin, offers to get back her daughter by blackmailing Dilbeck. Things do not work out as planned, though.
4/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ogp5KYh9xUA

"The film's premise is thinner than the heroine's G-string." - rottentomatoes
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Wooley » Sun Jan 26, 2020 5:25 pm

Rump wrote:
Sun Jan 26, 2020 12:59 pm

67th
Image
Howard The Duck (1986)

A scientific experiment unknowingly brings extraterrestrial life forms to the Earth through a laser beam. First is the cigar smoking drake Howard from the duck's planet. A few kids try to keep him from the greedy scientists and help him back to his planet. But then a much less friendly being arrives through the beam...
4/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2RNrmCJLtA

"It's a long journey from this to his 1 second cameo in the final battle of Endgame." - youtube

Now i'm gonna have to watch endgame again!!! :P


Save you the trouble:

Image
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Wooley
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Wooley » Sun Jan 26, 2020 5:29 pm

Rump wrote:
Sun Jan 26, 2020 1:57 pm

62nd
Image
Striptease (1996)

Erin Grant loses care and custody of her daughter when she's divorced from her husband Darrell, a small-time thief. Struggling for money, she is a dancer at a nightclub, where one night Congressman Dilbeck (in disguise) attacks another member of the audience. A spectator, who recognizes Dilbeck and is fond of Erin, offers to get back her daughter by blackmailing Dilbeck. Things do not work out as planned, though.
4/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ogp5KYh9xUA

"The film's premise is thinner than the heroine's G-string." - rottentomatoes


This was one of the first times in my life that I learned that A-list stars in big projects could still truly result in terrible movies.

And I have no idea why this is bolded and italicized, it is not inside my post, but it keeps coming out that way.
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Apex Predator » Sun Jan 26, 2020 10:41 pm

Rump wrote:
Sun Jan 26, 2020 1:49 pm

63rd
Image
Ad Astra (2019)

Astronaut Roy McBride (Brad Pitt) travels to the outer edges of the solar system to find his missing father and unravel a mystery that threatens the survival of our planet. His journey will uncover secrets that challenge the nature of human existence and our place in the cosmos.
4/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYLQdxec5lM

Waaa.. daddy didn't love me.. waaa.. :roll:
Interestingly enough, this reminds me some of Christopher Nolan's Interstellar with its view of astronauts, family drama and big themes.

I hope it doesn't blow its third act nearly as bad, though.
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Rump
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 29, 2020 11:40 am


61st
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Prom Ride (2015)

It's the end of the school year for a group of high school friends. Their senior prom was to be a night of elegance, rejoicing and celebrating, but when a psychotic killer hijacks their stretch limo, he is determined to have them Dead On Arrival. The teens are tortured while being held hostage, and soon turn on each other for survival. By the end, we learn that one of the teens had been keeping a secret that played a bigger role in their demise.
4/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzT95-dKnMA

"Prom Ride is basically a poor man's Saw on wheels, with mental torture replacing physical. " - rottentomatoes
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Rump
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 29, 2020 11:47 am


60th
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Big Momma's House 2 (2006)

An FBI agent finds himself crossing the gender line again in the name of national security in this sequel to the comedy hit Big Momma's House. Tom Fuller (Mark Moses) is a computer whiz who is under investigation by the FBI, who suspect he may be the man behind a dangerous piece of underground software that would allow terrorists and criminals to access secured intelligence files online. The Bureau is looking for a way to get inside Fuller's home to find out what he's doing when a golden opportunity presents itself -- Fuller and his wife, Leah (Emily Procter), are in the market for a nanny to help look after their three children. The FBI sends in Malcolm Turner (Martin Lawrence), who will once again impersonate feisty septuagenarian Hattie Mae Pierce, better known as "Big Momma." Big Momma gets the job, but while trying to dig up the truth about Fuller's possible criminal connections, Malcolm also finds himself developing a close relationship with the suspect's wife and kids. Malcolm also finds himself offering unlikely romantic advice to his new partner, Kevin (Zachary Levi), and developing a new appreciation of the day-to-day travails of his wife, Sherrie (Nia Long).
5/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=345vOvSvGPw

"No logic, no laughs, a classic 'take-the-money-and-run' sequel which had me praying for a projector malfunction or a theater fire. " - IMDB
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Rump
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 29, 2020 11:53 am


59th
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Lords of the Deep (1989)

Man has finally conquered the ocean. America's first self-contained undersea laboratory is the pride of the nation, and expectations are high for an elaborate undersea mining operation. What wasn't expected was the inhabitants of an undiscovered world.
5/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5MiaKZv7b0

Good for a chuckle as even in 1989 effects shouldn't be this bad!!! :P

D.P :up: (as it's a eighties film)
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 29, 2020 12:03 pm


58th
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Trapped Alive (1988)

In this taut drama, a couple's road trip turns deadly when they are ambushed by three fugitive cons trying to stay away from a police roadblock. They take the car off the road and end up speeding right into a very deep abandoned mine. They must then somehow make it through many confusing tunnels. Unfortunately, it's not that simple because something evil is lurking in the darkness, and it doesn't like visitors.
5/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kk5WdVQj9Ro

"Unfreakinglybelievably bad!" - IMDB

Crumbsroom and Jinnistan :up:
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