Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

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Rump
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Mon Jan 06, 2020 4:05 pm


94th
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Crazy Eights (2006)

Six people are brought together at the funeral of a childhood friend. While settling the estate, they discover a map, which leads them on a search for a long forgotten time capsule, at the request of their dead friend. What they discover reawakens repressed childhood traumas and leads them on a journey through their long abandoned childhood home: a home with a terrible secret and a mysterious dead girl who will lead them to their strange fates.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srsYbxcwqXc&t=32s

"I think I just threw up in my mouth... " - IMDB
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Rump
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Mon Jan 06, 2020 4:15 pm


93rd
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The Incantation (2018)

In this picturesque paranormal thriller, a young American girl, Lucy Bellerose (Sam Valentine), has a chance of a lifetime to visit her ancestors ominous castle in the south of France. However, things are not as they seem as she finds that her family is hiding deep, dark secrets about their nefarious past, far away from prying eyes. Unbeknownst to Lucy, the region is also home to centuries of witchcraft and occult folklore. After meeting the strident Vicar of Borley and her socially awkward Chambermaid, Mary, Lucy begins to question her place in the family. Abel Baddon, a devilishly handsome traveling salesman, (Dean Cain "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman"), tries to assuage her fears and soothe her reluctance. However, only after meeting a charming gravedigger named J.P. (Dylan Kellogg) does she begin to feel at ease. He navigates her through the twists and turns of the murky waters of her family's past, eventually uncovering shocking revelations.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EARmKIxjxQ

I actually watched this thinking that priest is soooooooo Dean Cain in a beard and it will be revealed he's a crazy brother or sumthin'.... but it ain't :shock:
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Mon Jan 06, 2020 4:28 pm


92nd
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Voyage of the Rock Aliens (1984)

Aliens land in the mythical town of "Speelburgh, U.S.A" searching for the source of rock & roll. What they find is a gang of teenagers, led by Dee Dee (the inimitable Pia Zadora) and Frankie, along with Frankie's posse/rock band, the Pack. The leader of the aliens takes a shine to Dee Dee and all sorts of trouble breaks out.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AiOVIk7Nh4

"This film is atrocious. The acting is bad, every joke falls flat, and the aliens are annoying beyond belief" - IMDB
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Rump
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Mon Jan 06, 2020 4:34 pm


91st
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Disaster Movie (2008)

Will, Lisa, and two of their friends attempt to flee man-made and natural disasters and encounter Batman, Hancock, The Hulk, Indiana Jones, Hannah Montana, Michael Jackson, Beowulf, the Love Guru, Iron Man, rabid chipmunks amongst others in their seemingly vain efforts to seek help and shelter from unknown threats.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYBeeloO-ac

Fortunately the Enchanted girl was funny, the rest is awful of course :up:
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Wooley » Mon Jan 06, 2020 9:13 pm

Rump wrote:
Sun Jan 05, 2020 5:26 pm

110th
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Shock Treatment (1981)

Following on from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show", this musical is set several years later in Brad and Janet Majors' hometown - which has become a giant TV station; residents are either participants or viewers. They are married now, but their romance has fallen on the rocks. Ostensibly to fix their marriage, Brad is imprisoned on the program "Dentonvale" (the local mental hospital) while Janet is conscripted to become a new star. As Janet is entranced by the high life, she forgets Brad. Who is trying to woo her away?
2/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0W9QGH3lFa0

Wooley :up: :P
Oh, come on!
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Apex Predator
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Apex Predator » Mon Jan 06, 2020 10:16 pm

Rump wrote:
Mon Jan 06, 2020 4:34 pm

91st
Image
Disaster Movie (2008)

Will, Lisa, and two of their friends attempt to flee man-made and natural disasters and encounter Batman, Hancock, The Hulk, Indiana Jones, Hannah Montana, Michael Jackson, Beowulf, the Love Guru, Iron Man, rabid chipmunks amongst others in their seemingly vain efforts to seek help and shelter from unknown threats.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYBeeloO-ac

Fortunately the Enchanted girl was funny, the rest is awful of course :up:
Thanks. Now I know which one of those I've seen. May have also seen part of Epic Movie. Agree with your assessment on this.
I didn't hate Epic Movie, btw.
Also will agree on the From Justin to Kelly movie. Nothing wrong with a good beach movie, but the two top scorers from American Idol Season 1 are no Frankie and Annette, that's for sure.

Unfortunately for Wooley, I agree with you on Grease 2. Outside of seeing Michelle Pfeiffer, not much to make one's engines rev up.
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 08, 2020 10:37 pm


90th
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Stan Helsing (2009)

It's Halloween night, and slacker video clerk Stan Helsing along with his insanely sexy ex-girlfriend , best buddy and an exotic dancer/'massage therapist' - detours into a town cursed by the biggest monsters in movie history: Freddy, Jason , Pinhead , Leatherface , Chucky , & Michael Myers.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srbmLtGc6vQ

"There is nothing funny at all, it just drags on and on and you'll find yourself begging for the end. Not even to see how it ends, just because of the sweet release from watching" - IMDB
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 08, 2020 10:43 pm


89th
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Bates Motel (1987)

A mentally disturbed man, who roomed with the late Norman Bates at the state lunatic asylum, inherits the legendary Bates Motel after the death of Norman and tries to fix it up to make it a respectable business.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrBxCSdw7Ns

This made for TV film is a pilot for a TV series that never materialized (until now of course) nor is this film in any way a part of the "Psycho" franchise. - Trivia
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 08, 2020 10:52 pm


88th
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Killer Unicorn (2018)

Danny is your average Brooklyn party boy. This year, he and his friends couldn't be more excited about the upcoming "Brooklyn Annual Enema Party;" one of Brooklyn's biggest parties, the event is a place "where you come to get douched and dance." While the night starts out fun, it quickly takes a turn for the worse when Danny is attacked by a stranger. In the end, his fabulous drag queen and queer friends are able to save his life, but not without deadly consequences. A year later, Danny is still going throughout the aftermath of that horrible incident and refuses to go to this year's upcoming "Brooklyn Annual Enema Party," despite the pressure of his close friends Cholata, Collin and Gayson. His friends want Danny to face his fears and go back out into the world. Danny refuses, but when a new boy, PuppyPup, enters his life, Danny decides to give his social life and the Brooklyn nightlife scene a second chance. It isn't until his friends start to disappear
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbwROU5IRTA

"I hated every frame" - IMDB

It does have sick and inventive kills like an acid enema and fisting with a severed hand :shock:
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:16 pm


87th
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Kung Pow: Enter the Fist (2002)

Writer/director Steve Oedekerk uses contemporary characters and splices them into a 1970s kung-fu film, weaving the new and old together. As the main character, The Chosen One, Oedekerk sets off to avenge the deaths of his parents at the hands of kung-fu legend Master Pain. Along the way, he encounters some strange characters, one of which is a cow trained in the martial arts.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXrAYdSeWY8

"Many may say I'm being unreasonable, but I must say that a rating of 1/10 is much too high for such a horrible, grossly disgusting, piggishly, torturingly detestable, crappy, nasty, stupid, immature pile of dog doo that some call a movie." - IMDB
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:23 pm


86th
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The Appearance (2018)

When a medieval monk unexpectedly dies in a horrific way, the Church sends Mateho the Inquisitor, a rational man of science, to investigate the alleged 'witch'. When Mateho himself becomes implicated as more monks die mysteriously, he must learn that science cannot explain the horrors around him, before he is seduced by the evil that haunts this monastery.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLx3P6animg

Yawnerific :oops:
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:28 pm


85th
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The Master of Disguise (2002)

A sweet-natured Italian waiter named Pistachio Disguisey at his father Fabbrizio's restaurant, who happens to be a member of a family with supernatural skills of disguise. But moments later the patriarch of the Disguisey family is kidnapped Fabbrizio's former arch-enemy, Devlin Bowman, a criminal mastermind in an attempt to steal the world's most precious treasures from around the world. And it's up to Pistachio to track down Bowman and save his family before Bowman kills them!
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bF4wRsKKrdw

"In a 40-year career in horror, David Cronenberg never dreamed up an image as chilling or stomach-churning as Dana Carvey as a human turtle" - rottentomatoes
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:32 pm


84th
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Return of the Killer Tomatoes! (1988)

Mad scientist Professor Gangreen is cooking up the second coming of the Great Tomato Uprising, in which music converted tomatoes into human form to war against mankind. Pizza delivery man Chad Finletter must save the world and beautiful tomato-girl Tara.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aIXhmygh3A

Yep just as unfunny as the first :down: Thank god for the hottie and clooneys glorious mullet :up:
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:39 pm


83rd
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The Mod Squad (1999)

Three minor delinquints (Danes, Ribisi, and Epps) are recruited by a cop (Farina) working undercover to bust a cop/drug ring. When the officer who recruited them is killed, they go above and beyond the call of duty to solve the murder; and bust the drug ring. Suffering the jibes, and ridicule of fellow officers; they struggle to save their names, and that of their deceased benefactor.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67cdXuWnRKs

"Whatever countercultural kick the original Mod Squad had going for it, it has long since faded like a favorite pair of blue jeans, the kind you remember fondly but wouldn't dream of wearing again" - IMDB
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:44 pm


82nd
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Repossessed (1990)

It's been some time since Father Jebedaiah Mayii exorcised the devil from little Nancy Aglet, but now Nancy has grown up and has a family, the demon returns and repossesses Nancy. With Father Mayii unwilling to help, Father Luke Brophy tries his best to help Nancy, even when TV's Ernest Weller plans to air the exorcism live on TV.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vQINQcIWOc

"The movie is a comedy(?) about The Exorcist, though I think I found The Exorcist to be a lot funnier"
- IMDB
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:54 pm


81st
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Teen Wolf Too (1987)

Jason Bateman stars in this sequel to Teen Wolf as the original's cousin, Todd. Though not a boxer, he receives a college boxing scholarship, and upon discovering that he is afflicted with the same werewolf genetics, transforms from unremarkable to unbelievable.
3/10
Trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2XVkDTO0UY

"The end product is not so much a terrible film in that everything was misjudged but rather a terrible film because nobody seems to have given a single, flying f**k about it? "
- IMDB
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Apex Predator » Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:56 pm

The Repossessed deserved better. It's not a great spoof film, but it's certainly better than the Fill in the Blank Movie and some of Leslie's later films.

The Mod Squad, um yeah. That was turrible. If you have to explain in the opening credits what the word Mod means, you've already lost.

Also, could live without seeing Ribisi shirtless ever again.
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Rump » Thu Jan 09, 2020 12:54 am

Apex Predator wrote:
Wed Jan 08, 2020 11:56 pm
Also, could live without seeing Ribisi shirtless ever again.
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Rawwrrrrr :P
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Re: Films i Saw Last Month From Crappiest to Greatest

Post by Apex Predator » Thu Jan 09, 2020 1:00 am

What you did, Rumpled, I see it.

Shame, shame. :P
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