Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

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Wooley
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Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Fri Oct 05, 2018 3:13 am

Welcome...
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Some of you may remember I used to do a Horrorthon every year on RT. I would watch a minimum of 31 Horror movies in 31 days (the max was 54 one year) and I would write each one of them up with posters and screen caps and also include macabre music videos, cartoons, images, and whatever the hell else I could think of.
I haven't done it in a few years, and due to a combination of work, an out-of-town conference, my music-classes, and vacation at the end of the month, I had resolved that it wasn't going to happen this year either because if I couldn't do it right, I shouldn't do it at all.
But then I decided, fuck it, why not just make a thread and put in whatever I can over the course of the month, and that way we'll all have one more thread celebrating the season to click on when we long in.
So, I've decided to jump on my horse and chase down the Spirit the best I can when I can.
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So, drop by when you can, and I'll do my best to add some things whenever I get the chance and together we'll have a Happy, Happy Hal-lo-ween!
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Fri Oct 05, 2018 3:18 am

Oh, and in case you ever wondered, this is me:
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Rock » Fri Oct 05, 2018 3:19 am

Image
"We're outgunned and undermanned. But you know somethin'? We're gonna win. You know why? Superior attitude. Superior state of mind." - Mason Storm
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Fri Oct 05, 2018 3:23 am

Rock wrote:Image
Ha!
Beat me to it!
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Fri Oct 05, 2018 3:28 am

Also Wooley:
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Popcorn Reviews » Fri Oct 05, 2018 3:59 am

Looking forward to it.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Fri Oct 05, 2018 4:05 am

I feel like I wanna lead off with this, something I grew up with and cherished as a little kid and listened to all year 'round, which probably explains a lot.
If you don't know this, it is the vinyl release Disney put out as a promotion for their new Disneyland attraction, The Haunted Mansion, in 1969.
It contains much of the actual soundtrack from the ride, re-recorded by voice-actors in a studio, but this time with a story-context of two teenagers happening upon the Mansion late one night and being taken on a tour by their... Ghost Host.
While "Karen", one of the teens, is voiced by a voice-actress of the time, steady "Mike" is voiced by none other than Ron Howard.
Madame Leota, the disembodied head inside a crystal-ball who calls the spirits together, and the Grim, Grinning Ghosts and their theme song make this just wonderful, spooky fun.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Fri Oct 05, 2018 4:20 am

Here is the eerie song, "Grim, Grinning Ghosts", in its entirety:
Featuring the amazing voice of Thurl Ravenscroft, perhaps most famous for singing "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch" in the Dr. Seuss/Chuck Jones/Boris Karloff classic, from whom we will hear again later, this song is a real Halloween treat. (Lyrics below.)
When the crypt doors creak
And the tombstones quake,
Spooks come out for a swinging wake.
Happy haunts materialize
And begin to vocalize.
Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize.
Now don't close your eyes
And don't try to hide
Or a silly spook may sit by your side.
Shrouded in a daft disguise
They pretend to terrorize.
Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize.
As the moon climbs high o'er dead oak tree,
Spooks arrive for the midnight spree.
Creepy creeps with eerie eyes
Start to shriek and harmonize.
Grim grinning ghosts come out socialize.
When you hear the knell of a requiem bell,
Weird glows gleam where spirits dwell;
Restles bones etherealize
Rise as spooks of every size.
Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize...
Grim grinning ghosts come out...
Grim grinning ghosts come out...
To socialize...
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Captain Terror » Fri Oct 05, 2018 4:52 am

You had me at Ghost Rider. Looking forward to much ass kickage.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Fri Oct 05, 2018 5:12 am

Captain Terror wrote:You had me at Ghost Rider. Looking forward to much ass kickage.
Oh rly?
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Death Proof » Fri Oct 05, 2018 3:29 pm

argleblargle.

Shepherds we shall be, for thee, my Lord, for thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand, our feet may swiftly carry out Thy commands.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee and teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In Nomeni Patri Et Fili Spiritus Sancti.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Apex Predator » Fri Oct 05, 2018 5:38 pm

Looking forward to seeing what you go with here.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Fri Oct 05, 2018 7:44 pm

Sorry, internet went down all day due to deadbeat landlords, who are lawyers, shocker, I'll pick it back up tonight.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Captain Terror » Fri Oct 05, 2018 8:01 pm

In the meantime, let's get this party rollin'....

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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Fri Oct 05, 2018 8:18 pm

Image
Sigh...
VHS was... I dunno. It was not necessarily the ideal way to start my October viewing.
If you haven't seen it, it's a found-footage Horror-anthology but the clever twist is that it takes place back when video was all on VHS and so the cameras are VHS-cameras instead of whatever they use in other movies. Otherwise, it's the same.
The other thing this movie is "about" I guess, is "Toxic Masculinity". All the men in the movie are varying degrees of suck, from just whiny selfishness and self-centeredness and/or loud, unaware sexism, in the least of them, to date-rapey bro-behavior, to gaslighting, to outright sexual-assaulters who are also into vandalism, B&E, and theft. The movie is very violent, gory without fun, rather self-serious, and pretty mean-spirited from start to finish.
All of this would be forgivable if there was some other good reason to watch the movie, like the stories had conclusions or resolutions of some kind (only the first does, the rest are left totally open-ended, and not in the "well, you could interpret it this way or that", but in more of a "wait, that's it?!" sort of way). The wraparound is also mishandled, in my opinion in that firstly, it has nothing to do with the other stories, secondly it has no resolution itself, and finally it ends before the last segment making the last segment come across as this weird tack-on, and then the movie's over. But over the credits, they try to celebrate the wrap-around as if it was what the movie was all about, when it was not.
Add to this that the movie has very little visual flair at all (in part, I guess due to the "format" they were going with, but really , there's just not much to see), and there's really very, very little to hang your hat on in this movie. I am surprised by its popularity.
So, all in all, just kind of a barely-guided mess that forgives itself for far too much. Not all the stories were "bad", in fact none of them were, but only one actually had an ending really (maybe you could make an argument for another one that was really slight?) and they do not tie together in any real way other than that they are all on found in the same house and all on VHS. Enough questions are raised and left unanswered that you wonder if the filmmakers actually intended to raise them or if they were just accidents of the loose script.
At the end of the day, a tremendous disappointment. At least it's out of the way now.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Sat Oct 06, 2018 12:39 am

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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Charles » Sat Oct 06, 2018 12:43 am

Do you plan on watching the other VHS movies? The third one has much stronger ideas, the second one is worse than the first.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Sat Oct 06, 2018 1:01 am

Charles wrote:Do you plan on watching the other VHS movies? The third one has much stronger ideas, the second one is worse than the first.
No, I think I'm gonna pass.
Too many good things out there.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Sat Oct 06, 2018 1:02 am

Captain Terror wrote:In the meantime, let's get this party rollin'....

Oh, hell ya.
"We don't go out to Roll and Rock. We get our kicks from The House Of Shock."
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Jinnistan » Sat Oct 06, 2018 1:37 am

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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Jinnistan » Sat Oct 06, 2018 1:40 am

I'm with you, Wooley.

But I also feel the need to point out that, in my neck of the woods, we're still having 90 degree *F weather. That's plenty devily, sure, but not exactly the kind of Halloween atmosphere I prefer. Hell truly awaits. Since you're south of me, maybe you can releate to my frustration.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Rock » Sat Oct 06, 2018 2:00 am

If you're gonna pass on V/H/S/2, I'd suggest at least seeing the "Safe Haven" segment at some point. It's one of the best uses of the found footage format I've seen, using it to not just deliver unsettling imagery but to build tension visually, and it has this great sense of escalation. One of its directors is Gareth Evans, and it's exactly as intense as a horror movie from the director of the Raid movies should be.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Sat Oct 06, 2018 2:02 am

Well, here it is:
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I said I would revisit it and I did.
Some of you have heard me bash it here, but some of you may even remember me bashing it for years over on RT. But people keep defending it. So I gave it another spin.
And guess what?
It's not that fucking bad. It's really not. I can see why people, well, horror-people, who are, by their nature, very, very forgiving, like this movie. I mostly enjoyed it myself.
That said, I did have to actively exercise a lot of forgiveness to do so.
The thing is the movie starts out really well and moves along with a good bit of Carpenter style and competent filmmaking and good music and so forth for about 30 minutes or so before it slows down pretty significantly and i actually got bored for a while. When things get going, it basically consists of the actors in the movie becoming possessed, which is represented by, in some cases, a slight pallor to their makeup, and in other cases nothing more than how they act. In one hilarious case, a badly-balding chubby guy who died from a broken neck, stalks the others with merely his head turned to the right. That's it, that's the whole effect of having a broken neck, he just turned his head to the right and looked forward with his eyes. I laughed out loud when he walked out like that. And there's a chunk of the movie where these two just stand there like this and it's supposed to be scary.
Image
Now, take that image out of context right quick, that image above is supposed to be scary. That's literally just two women standing next to each other with blank expressions on their face. Without the context, they could just be patiently waiting for an ice cream cone. The movie lingers on this "menace" for like 15 minutes.
Another hilarious part is a guy who locks himself in a closet and tells the people on the other side of the wall to dig him out but makes no effort to dig from his side for like 2 hours. Even though they tell him it could take hours, he does nothing from his side. When he is finally attacked, he is able to rip through the wall in like under a minute.
At one point, the hero drops down from a window into an alley that is bordered by... a fence! A fence that a 10 year-old could jump. But as he is descended on by homeless people, instead of just jumping the fence and fleeing to safety and getting help (which was, I assume, the point?), he clambers back up into a second-story window, barely escaping death, and ending up right back where he was. What was even the point of that scene?
A woman, who up until this point has probably been the least-noticeable character in the movie, gets a bruise from bumping into something. Not from touching the weird artifact0thingy, but just a random piece of equipment in the room. Later the bruise has turned into a very clear, two-inch by two-inch raised symbol on her skin, and she just shrugs it off and goes to take a nap.
At one point, three guys who we think are trapped in the building somehow meet in the middle of some huge back courtyard behind the church from which it appears literally anyone and everyone could have just escaped. But they go back inside and no one tries to get out this way again.
I could go on and on, and maybe even bringing up that approximately half the actors in this movie were able to act, but I will not dwell on the negatives here.
There are moments. There's some things done with insects and worms that are interesting. There's a cup of maggots. One dude sort of melts into a pile of beetles and falls apart. There's some backstory about a Brotherhood Of Sleep and about a dream that is not a dream but a warning from the future, which was interesting. (Unfortunately, there was also some less than half-baked stuff about the Father Of Satan, who may have been an alien and somehow he was stuck in the mirror-world, and some silly pseudo-physics mumbo-jumbo, and Jesus was actually some kind of soldier in the war against this demon, mumbo-jumbo, something, something). Finally the movie climaxes when one, and only one, of the possessed actually looks sort of scary for a bit, or at least like someone accidentally spilled a pizza on a blonde woman with a pony-tail. The pony-tail makes it.
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Now, really, I actually did kind of like this movie just for its Carpenterism and some good-looking parts and some of the stuff he was trying to do here, and Donald Pleasance mumbling Donald Pleasancisms, and Victor Wong trying to make the shit he had to say not sound totally ridiculous... and I would watch it again - I wouldn't choose it, maybe, but I'd watch it again if a friend did or something. But I really do think that the best way to describe it is, like the pizza-lady, half-baked. Some of the ideas make sense and some of them make nonsense, and I don't think even Carpenter knew how he was going to make his premise turn into something scary for 90-ish minutes, and so it's really not for most of its run-time, and it is eye-rolling and laughable at some points. But, it's actually not at all meritless and I've seen much worse horror movies.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by crumbsroom » Sat Oct 06, 2018 2:03 am

Rock wrote:If you're gonna pass on V/H/S/2, I'd suggest at least seeing the "Safe Haven" segment at some point. It's one of the best uses of the found footage format I've seen, using it to not just deliver unsettling imagery but to build tension visually, and it has this great sense of escalation. One of its directors is Gareth Evans, and it's exactly as intense as a horror movie from the director of the Raid movies should be.
I never even bothered with the first VHS, so I don't know that pain, and the vast majority of the sequel is pretty shit as well. But Safe Haven is definitely special. The final segment in VHS2 is decent as well, but not necessarily essential. Safe Haven is. It should be considered completely acceptable to just watch that.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Sat Oct 06, 2018 2:03 am

Jinnistan wrote:Image
That's the spirit!
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Rock » Sat Oct 06, 2018 2:03 am

Wooley wrote: Ha!
Beat me to it!
Full disclosure: I just googled "spooky time gif" and picked my favourite result.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Sat Oct 06, 2018 2:22 am

Jinnistan wrote:I'm with you, Wooley.

But I also feel the need to point out that, in my neck of the woods, we're still having 90 degree *F weather. That's plenty devily, sure, but not exactly the kind of Halloween atmosphere I prefer. Hell truly awaits. Since you're south of me, maybe you can releate to my frustration.
Absolutely, I think we hit 92 today.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Sat Oct 06, 2018 2:23 am

Rock wrote: Full disclosure: I just googled "spooky time gif" and picked my favourite result.
No kidding? I always use those dancing skeletons.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Sat Oct 06, 2018 2:25 am

Image
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Captain Terror » Sat Oct 06, 2018 2:28 am

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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Jinnistan » Sat Oct 06, 2018 2:35 am

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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Death Proof » Sat Oct 06, 2018 2:41 am


Shepherds we shall be, for thee, my Lord, for thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand, our feet may swiftly carry out Thy commands.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee and teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In Nomeni Patri Et Fili Spiritus Sancti.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Sat Oct 06, 2018 3:07 am

Death Proof wrote:
Great stuff.
What on Earth was that "banned" for?
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Death Proof » Sat Oct 06, 2018 3:10 am

Wooley wrote: Great stuff.
What on Earth was that "banned" for?

Being black.


Not sure... I know there are drug references in the song. Probably that.

Shepherds we shall be, for thee, my Lord, for thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand, our feet may swiftly carry out Thy commands.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee and teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In Nomeni Patri Et Fili Spiritus Sancti.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Sat Oct 06, 2018 4:28 am

In my old Horrorthons, I never let it get past the first page before I included Bloodletting, a killer song, but especially a killer Halloween song:
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by MadMan » Sat Oct 06, 2018 7:11 am

I have seen 10 horror films so far this month, 17 since August.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by daakmore » Sat Oct 06, 2018 8:39 am

Wooley wrote:In my old Horrorthons, I never let it get past the first page before I included Bloodletting, a killer song, but especially a killer Halloween song:
Amen to that (but you know like an unholy version), love that song!
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Captain Terror » Sat Oct 06, 2018 1:31 pm

Image

Captain Terror, 1977 (on the left, in case that wasn't obvious)
Fun Fact: The girl dressed as a vampire? Her name is Buffy.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Death Proof » Sat Oct 06, 2018 1:58 pm

Captain Terror wrote:Image

Captain Terror, 1977 (on the left, in case that wasn't obvious)
Fun Fact: The girl dressed as a vampire? Her name is Buffy.

Oh my god I remember seeing that King Kong costume in stores when I was a kid.

Shepherds we shall be, for thee, my Lord, for thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand, our feet may swiftly carry out Thy commands.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee and teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In Nomeni Patri Et Fili Spiritus Sancti.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Death Proof » Sat Oct 06, 2018 2:00 pm




The opening line "Superstition, fear and jealousy" is spoken by Christopher Lee, from Horror Hotel.

Shepherds we shall be, for thee, my Lord, for thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand, our feet may swiftly carry out Thy commands.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee and teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In Nomeni Patri Et Fili Spiritus Sancti.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Sat Oct 06, 2018 5:33 pm

MadMan wrote:I have seen 10 horror films so far this month, 17 since August.
Damn, nice work. I've seen, like 4, I'll get to 6 tonight. All this month. I don't expect to break 20 though, with all the travel I have to do.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Sat Oct 06, 2018 5:34 pm

Death Proof wrote:


The opening line "Superstition, fear and jealousy" is spoken by Christopher Lee, from Horror Hotel.
I fucking love Dragula.

Then again, I tend to really like Rob Zombie. I actually like most of his movies, to various degrees, the only one I don't really is Halloween. And even that, I get what he was going for and I think there are some awesome parts, it was just the wrong idea.
Liked 31 a good bit, most recently.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Sat Oct 06, 2018 5:35 pm

Captain Terror wrote:Image

Captain Terror, 1977 (on the left, in case that wasn't obvious)
Fun Fact: The girl dressed as a vampire? Her name is Buffy.
That is the shit.
Thanks for sharing that here.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Apex Predator » Sun Oct 07, 2018 7:05 pm

MadMan wrote:I have seen 10 horror films so far this month, 17 since August.
Just now getting into my third for October, 5 since July. :oops:
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Sun Oct 07, 2018 7:08 pm

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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Sun Oct 07, 2018 8:22 pm

Image
Well...
15 minutes into this movie I thought, "Man, you're an idiot for not having watched this until now, this is looking like a legit hidden gem."
But then the remaining hour and ten minutes occurred. :D
So, the story here is that a shopping mall has decided to adopt automated security, in the form of a new generation of robotic security guards, The Protectors. But when lightning strikes the control center for the robots they malfunction and become lethal killing machines with no discretion for who dies. Everybody dies.
This was actually all handled really well in the beginning of the film. Unfortunately, the things that one thinks will make it interesting aren't developed and somehow a movie about killer robots in a shopping mall becomes very by the numbers. A huge opportunity is missed when Protector 1 (which really is kind of a cool name for a Horror villain) comes across Dick Miller mopping up the floor. A really good scene ensues between the working-man Miller and the killer-robot, Miller playing it perfectly. But the scene can end one of two ways and the direction the filmmakers decided to go is the more obvious one and it neuters the movie of what could have been a much, much better story. Really, from that moment on, which is only like 20-25 minutes into the movie, it is just the 6 remaining people in the mall running from the Protectors and getting killed for an hour.
Image
Even this would be fine, if not nearly as good as it should have been, but, with one exception, the kills are pretty weak. I am not normally a "kills" guy but when your cat-and-mouse game isn't particularly exciting, you'd like to see a little more intensity in that department.
Anyway, this movie's not actually bad or anything, I think it just falls really short and isn't nearly as interesting as it could/should have been. Can't say I much understand it being a "cult film" in that there's really not much to see here. It's not good enough to be a hidden gem and it's not bad enough to be "so bad it's good", it's just kinda there.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by crumbsroom » Sun Oct 07, 2018 8:31 pm

Chopping Mall is kinda just garbage.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Takoma1 » Sun Oct 07, 2018 8:37 pm

During my horror binge last year (where I frantically watch a ton of horror in an attempt to identify Rumpled's gifs) I watched some of Chopping Mall and it just seemed really blah.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Jinnistan » Sun Oct 07, 2018 8:43 pm

I thought Chopping Mall was very funny. Better than Short Circuit even.
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Wooley
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon

Post by Wooley » Sun Oct 07, 2018 9:25 pm

Takoma1 wrote:During my horror binge last year (where I frantically watch a ton of horror in an attempt to identify Rumpled's gifs) I watched some of Chopping Mall and it just seemed really blah.
It was meh but, really, it started off looking like it was gonna be pretty good. I really think they just missed obvious opportunities.

I'm just gonna put it in spoiler tags here:
They make the point in the beginning of the movie that the Protectors won't bother anybody who shows them a mall ID. When Protector 1 meets Dick Miller, he shows it his badge and it actually seems to hesitate for a moment, but then it just kills him. This makes the point that they have totally overridden their programming and that having a badge will not help you, which is what they wanted to do. But the movie would be SO much more interesting if Protector 1 had, after that hesitation, left Miller alone. Then it becomes the gas-station scene from No Country For Old Men and elevates the whole film. If that one protocol remained and could still save your life, then instead of the entire final hour of the movie just being "run and/or hide from Protectors" til dawn and weak kills, a whole lot of interesting scenes involving trying to get badges in order to survive the night, since they were locked in all night anyway, what happens if you get the wrong badge and it doesn't match who you are, Dick Miller returning later in the film to help, just a number of possibilities.
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