Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

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Popcorn Reviews
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Popcorn Reviews » Sun Oct 06, 2019 6:19 pm

I saw that for one of the Corrie Class Trips. It's quite good.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Takoma1 » Sun Oct 06, 2019 6:48 pm

Jinnistan wrote:
Sat Oct 05, 2019 9:07 am
Thought I'd replied to this but apparently not.

I will definitely second this recommendation. It's short, sweet, and has some awesomely disturbing imagery and themes.

Also, yeah, Spider Baby is great.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Jinnistan » Sun Oct 06, 2019 10:12 pm

Takoma1 wrote:
Sun Oct 06, 2019 6:48 pm
I will definitely second this recommendation. It's short, sweet, and has some awesomely disturbing imagery and themes.
It's quite something. Actual title is Blood Tea and Red String, an exquisitely crafted stop-motion dark fairy tale. It might be better suited for Cap'ns thread, but it doesn't quite gel with the aestheitc he's establishing there, so I figured (at 4 in the morning) that this thread was its proper home.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Jinnistan » Sun Oct 06, 2019 10:23 pm

Rock wrote:
Fri Oct 04, 2019 2:27 am
Is this the one with Mackenzie Davis?
Yes, along with Caitlin Fitzgerald, both excellent. The performances are the best reason to watch it.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Captain Terror » Sun Oct 06, 2019 10:41 pm

Wow, surprised to hear you hadn't seen Spider Baby till now. I'm a giant fan, as if that's a surprise. (I used to have a pet tarantula and almost named her Winifred)
I agree about the juggling of the different tones. The scene where Virginia "plays spider" with Uncle Peter always makes me squirm because I can't decide if I should be laughing, or turned on, or disturbed, and I'm usually a combination of the three.

And I think I've got the entire dinner conversation memorized. "Come on, Schlocker, don't hog the stuff!"
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by daakmore » Mon Oct 07, 2019 4:28 am

Wooley wrote:
Sun Oct 06, 2019 5:11 pm
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I know I lurk more than anything around here but finding out about films like this are why I will always at least lurk. This was not on my radar until this here thread and so at a movie night tonight my friend had the film and we watched it and my god was it fantastic. It's weird watching it and thinking how different it probably would have been if it had been made 5-10 years later. The 2 girls were amazing and Chaney and Haig were also incredible, just straddles such a weird line of black comedy and crazy family horror. I love that I can find out about gems like this that would have otherwise escaped my notice.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Mon Oct 07, 2019 5:07 am

daakmore wrote:
Mon Oct 07, 2019 4:28 am
I know I lurk more than anything around here but finding out about films like this are why I will always at least lurk. This was not on my radar until this here thread and so at a movie night tonight my friend had the film and we watched it and my god was it fantastic. It's weird watching it and thinking how different it probably would have been if it had been made 5-10 years later. The 2 girls were amazing and Chaney and Haig were also incredible, just straddles such a weird line of black comedy and crazy family horror. I love that I can find out about gems like this that would have otherwise escaped my notice.
I'm happy we could help your October!
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Mon Oct 07, 2019 5:08 am

Gotta have some Bad Music For Bad People in my Halloween thread:
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Tue Oct 08, 2019 3:32 am

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Fuck. Yes.

KKfOS is the tits, yo. And if you don't feel it, then you can't come to my party.
Really, what a silly, fun, goofy horror movie, but made with enough cleverness, frankly enough inspiration and imagination, to propel something like this credibly for like 100 minutes. Or 85 minutes. Or whatever this got to.
It was awesome and if you didn't dig it, just stay in your Corrolla and listen to Air Supply.
While the rest of us had to get into it:
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I mean, at this point you must understand the sitaution we are in. The Earth is under attack. Killer Klownz with popcorn guns are going to end the human race without explanation, exploiting one of the greatest fears in the human narrative culture: to die without knowing - without meaning.
Uniqueley human, i'm sure but this film dangles it all over the places as indefensible death lurks behind every ice-cream pop, behind every puppet-show, behind every playground slide, behind every bouquet of balloons. Doom abounds and it's controlling you:
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It's waiting for you:
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It's in complete control...
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But rest assured, the film is fun and best pursued and enjoyed in whatever way is the way in your world.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Tue Oct 08, 2019 3:48 am

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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Tue Oct 08, 2019 3:51 am

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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Captain Terror » Tue Oct 08, 2019 1:10 pm

Can't say I've ever given Killer Klowns a second thought, but I didn't know the set design was so wacky. Looks like something I'd be into. Watchlisted!
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Tue Oct 08, 2019 2:31 pm

Captain Terror wrote:
Tue Oct 08, 2019 1:10 pm
Can't say I've ever given Killer Klowns a second thought, but I didn't know the set design was so wacky. Looks like something I'd be into. Watchlisted!
I refused to watch it for years and the gang at RT kinda bullied me into it one year and I totally loved it.

By the way, that is what a write-up looks like after you've been drinking and the Ambien kicks in but instead of going to sleep you decide to write up a movie.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Captain Terror » Tue Oct 08, 2019 2:43 pm

Wooley wrote:
Tue Oct 08, 2019 2:31 pm

By the way, that is what a write-up looks like after you've been drinking and the Ambien kicks in but instead of going to sleep you decide to write up a movie.
LOL, I read that and thought "Man Wooley's having some fun tonight!"
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Tue Oct 08, 2019 5:35 pm

Captain Terror wrote:
Tue Oct 08, 2019 2:43 pm
LOL, I read that and thought "Man Wooley's having some fun tonight!"
Yeah, I didn't even remember writing it this morning. Was a complete surprise to find it and not one word of it seemed familiar.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Tue Oct 08, 2019 5:50 pm

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I think this one has been pretty well-covered with this group, we all know it, we all love it, one of the great Lewton/Tourneur catalogue.

For anyone who doesn't know the film, it's the story of a Nurse from Canada who takes a post as the caretaker of a catatonic woman living on a sugar-cane plantation in Haiti. The woman, the wife of the plantation-owner, has been in a trance-like state ever since she got "brain-fever" or whatever some years before. But we the viewers know there is more to that story. We hear the drums in the jungle and we know.
The film is apparently some sort of vague adaptation of Jane Eyre as well, but I wouldn't know anything about that. But one of the things that makes the film so good is that it is just vague in general. Things are suggested and implied but almost nothing is expressly stated and when the film has ended, even though you've seen every moment of the events, multiple explanations are equally possible. Even after we've seen the silent and menacing Carre-four...
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... we cannot be certain if everything is supernatural or none of it is.

It is this vagary, the complexity of the relationships, and the strong, well-developed characters that carry the film throughout what is actually very little action.
But the surprisingly realistic (even to someone for the Voodoo Capital of America) representation of Voodoo is, for me, the real charm and call of this movie that keeps me watching it every other year or so.

A class act, if you haven't seen this one, I recommend you do, and if you have, I recommend you do so again.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Slentert » Tue Oct 08, 2019 5:53 pm

I saw this one last year on the big screen during a Val Lewton retrospective, and it has instantly become an all-time favorite of mine. Like, not just favorite horror movies, I would put this in my top 10 of the 1940s.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Tue Oct 08, 2019 6:23 pm

Slentert wrote:
Tue Oct 08, 2019 5:53 pm
I saw this one last year on the big screen during a Val Lewton retrospective, and it has instantly become an all-time favorite of mine. Like, not just favorite horror movies, I would put this in my top 10 of the 1940s.
I can dig that. The characters are great, the dialogue is great, the whole thing feels so... unexpected.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Thief » Tue Oct 08, 2019 6:56 pm

Wooley wrote:
Tue Oct 08, 2019 3:32 am
Image
Fuck. Yes.

KKfOS is the tits, yo. And if you don't feel it, then you can't come to my party.
Really, what a silly, fun, goofy horror movie, but made with enough cleverness, frankly enough inspiration and imagination, to propel something like this credibly for like 100 minutes. Or 85 minutes. Or whatever this got to.
It was awesome and if you didn't dig it, just stay in your Corrolla and listen to Air Supply.
I agree. Saw it a couple of months ago and was surprised at how much fun it was. Undeniably goofy, but relishing in it.
--- UNDER CONSTRUCTION ---
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Wed Oct 09, 2019 4:01 am

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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Wed Oct 09, 2019 4:07 am

Thurl Ravenscroft, you may remember, sings "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch" in the classic Dr. Seuss/Chuck Jones/Boris Karloff cartoon and is also the lead voice in "Grim Grinning Ghosts" which we'll hear later.
And here are the wonderful lyrics:
Now, gather 'round while I elucidate
On what happens outside when it gets late.
'Long about midnight the ghosts and banshees
Get together for their nightly jamborees.
There's ghosts with horns and saucer eyes
And some with fangs about this size;
Some short and fat, some tall and thin
And some don't even bother to wear their skin.
I'm tellin' you brother, it's a frightful sight
To see what goes on in the night.
When the spooks have a midnight jamboree
They break it up with fiendish glee.
Ghosts are bad, but the one that's cursed
Is the Headless Horseman, he's the worst.
When he goes a-joggin' 'cross the land
Holdin' his noggin in his hand
Demons take one look and groan
And hit the road for parts unknown.
And there's no wrath like a spook that's spurned
They don't like him, and he's really burned.
He swears to the longest day he's dead
He'll show them that he can get a head.
So close all the windows, lock the doors
Unless you're careful, he'll get yours.
Don't think he'll hesitate a bit
'Cause he'll clip your top if it'll fit.
And he likes 'em little, likes 'em big
Part in the middle, or a wig;
Black or white or even red
The Headless Horseman needs a head.
With a hip-hip and a clippity-clop
He's out lookin' for a head to chop.
So don't stop to figure out a plan
You can't reason with a headless man..
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Wed Oct 09, 2019 4:11 am

Oh, and before we get too far from the subject very close to my heart, Voodoo, we should have a visit from Baron Samedi...
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Wed Oct 09, 2019 4:16 am

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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Death Proof » Wed Oct 09, 2019 5:24 am




And for the record, Killer Klowns sucks ass.
If I am the Phantom, it is because man's hatred has made me so. If I shall be saved, it will be because your love redeems me.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Wed Oct 09, 2019 2:07 pm

Death Proof wrote:
Wed Oct 09, 2019 5:24 am



And for the record, Killer Klowns sucks ass.
Nice.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Wed Oct 09, 2019 2:07 pm

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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Wed Oct 09, 2019 2:38 pm

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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by crumbsroom » Wed Oct 09, 2019 4:50 pm

Killer Klownz was not for me.

Outside of the creature design, which is amazing, meh. Momentary bits of inspiration surrounded by colorfully flat bleh.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Thu Oct 10, 2019 1:44 am

crumbsroom wrote:
Wed Oct 09, 2019 4:50 pm
Killer Klownz was not for me.

Outside of the creature design, which is amazing, meh. Momentary bits of inspiration surrounded by colorfully flat bleh.
Boo.
You hate fun.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by crumbsroom » Thu Oct 10, 2019 2:24 am

Wooley wrote:
Thu Oct 10, 2019 1:44 am
Boo.
You hate fun.
I don't hate fun.

I distrust it.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Death Proof » Thu Oct 10, 2019 3:02 am

I hate fun.
If I am the Phantom, it is because man's hatred has made me so. If I shall be saved, it will be because your love redeems me.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Thu Oct 10, 2019 9:38 pm

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aka:
The Castle Of The Walking Dead
The Torture Chamber Of Dr. Sadism
Blood Demon (but not in Rhode Island)
Crimson Demon


I saw this little thing about 10 years ago as The Castle Of The Walking Dead. And I was surprised that I really enjoyed it. It helped that I had no idea Christopher Lee was in it, so when the Executioner opened the door and Saruman The Wise looked up at me. That was a treat.
This is sorta kinda I guess based on The Pit And The Pendulum. Sorta. Basically, Count Regula (Christopher Lee) is convicted of torturing a dozen virgins to death. But he needed 13. He has his reasons. But they Mask Of The Demon and draw-and-quarter his ass anyway.
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35 years later, the descendants of the 13th Virgin and the judge who sentenced Count Regula receive invitations to come to a remote palace called, colloquially, "Blood Castle".
How can they refuse?
Especially when there are beset on the road by black-clad figures and dead bodies and limbs are hanging from the trees all around.
Eventually, they arrive at Blood Castle and all is revealed, involving The Undead, tarantulas, snakes, scorpions, and, finally... a pendulum.

Honestly, this low-budget, West German production with weird dubbing (everyone is dubbed, fairly badly, except for Christopher Lee who is not dubbed at all, at least in this print), that also pads its run-time generously with a lot of unnecessarily long takes and protracted monologuing and such, but the 60 minutes of its 81-minute run-time that are substantive are fairly cool. Lots of mood and ambience throughout and the grainy, dubbed nature of the business actually adds a surreal touch to the spooky feel.
If you have 81 minutes to spare, you could probably do worse than to see a Dracula-era Lee do his thing.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Apex Predator » Thu Oct 10, 2019 9:42 pm

I see some people who won't be at your shindig.

Discerning people like myself who dig the goofy sci-fi vibes of Killer Klowns will be busy taking their spots and enjoying the fun.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Thu Oct 10, 2019 11:27 pm

Apex Predator wrote:
Thu Oct 10, 2019 9:42 pm
I see some people who won't be at your shindig.

Discerning people like myself who dig the goofy sci-fi vibes of Killer Klowns will be busy taking their spots and enjoying the fun.
And you'll be welcome. Unlike some.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Thu Oct 10, 2019 11:29 pm

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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Jinnistan » Fri Oct 11, 2019 1:42 am

I tried a rewatch, after many many years, of the 1984 Children of the Corn. Don't worry. It's still stale. But my fascination has always been with imagining how it could have been done a whole lot better, despite the multiple dry heaves of the sequels.

The largest issue is that King's short story is indeed pretty short. It seems to be ideal for maybe an hour-length run. This can be workably stretched into 80-90 minutes, but would require a strong reliance on slow-burn atmospherics, deliberate real-time pacing and the tension of tedium. This 1984 version clearly has no patience or audience-trust to risk such an approach, which is why they added so may ill-conceived structural beats - a poorly enacted prologue, escalating chases into action film cliches - in order to prolong the material in ways which aren't dependent on filmmaking skills (skills that director Fritz Kiersch was hoarding for Gor apparently) and can offer the precisely timed jolts as predictably as the number of blueberries in a Vegas muffin.

A film, originating with the angry couple as they encounter the town, through to the final sacrifice, faithfully adapted from King's story, could still make for a strong film if the studio could just keep their little notes to themselves.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Fri Oct 11, 2019 2:07 am

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Man, Tobe Hooper is just the master of this shit.
If there's a better grindhouse run than The Texas Chainsaw Massacre -> Eaten Alive -> The Funhouse, I can't wait to see it.
I can't think of a movie, and god how many have their been that have tried, that so perfectly captures the surreal, cheap-thrill grease of a carnival in all it's big-bulbed, garishly-lit, cheaply painted, spinning, somehow frightening wonder. When I was a kid in the 70s and early 80s, pretty much exactly when this film was made, there was nothing I loved more than a trip to the Fun-Park or a carnival. And this is probably the only movie I've ever seen that really makes me feel like I'm there again.
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The movie is a pretty well-balanced, 3-act deal that has the patience to take 45 minutes to set itself up for the second-act, and can get away with it because Hooper is so good at this kind of atmosphere, really better than anyone I've seen, and delivers plenty of tension and thrills from there on out. Visually, this might be my favorite film of his. And it doesn't lack on the crazy either.
The story is pretty simple. It's really the story of this one, really nice young woman who is just treated badly by every man she knows, and the night she will never forget. She goes on a first-date, but she's not allowed (by her domineering father) to go to the Carnival because there was some unfortunate business with two young girls at the same time that the Carnival was last in town. So she lies about where she's going. Which means nobody knows where she is. Which all goes so-so, sadly about how it probably does for a lot of teenage girls who go out with lousy boys, until they decide to spend the night in the Funhouse. This does not end well. This image about sums the whole movie up.
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And this really makes the movie even more effective. Because what this poor girl goes through over the course of a night is simultaneously very believable, maybe even typical for a lot of young women in some ways, but additionally totally horrifying and probably scarring-for-life. And Hooper captures that. After being scared to death in the shower by her very dark younger brother who utterly violates her privacy in the process, she is bossed around by her domineering father and then goes on a first-datewith an alpha-male asshole who has that sometimes-bullying/sometimes-charming way of getting people to do what he wants. While on the date, the asshole is pretty much a constant asshole, but he's the cool guy so she wants him to like her and goes along with him in virtually everything he wants, even shady activity and sexual congress she likely doesn't even really want. And all that's before the other guy on the double-date first suggests staying in The Funhouse and then does something colossally stupid to put them all in danger for their lives. Only then are we introduced to the scenario of her having to physically survive. It's a harrowing journey we go on with her and Hooper and the cast do an excellent job of making the audience feel just how put-upon this girl is in a very believable way, not only with an on-point performance from Elizabeth Berridge, but also, surprisingly, with a very convincing Asshole-character. He's written just like so many of these fuckers I've actually known, instead of the over-the-top versions of them we saw in so many 80s movies and their progeny.
There's a lot more I'd like to say about the plot, but in case anyone hasn't seen it, I'd like to leave the "main thing" out of this write-up as it is pretty crazy, even if you've already seen the movie.
But again, all of that is set in the middle of Hooper's masterful visual flair for this kind of material, where he again creates a mood that is surprisingly unlike any other in film by paradoxically being absolutely authentic, but with flair. Like I said, I've never seen a movie that captured what it's like to really be at a Carnival in that time like this one does, in that same way (while visually being quite different) that Hooper made The Texas Chainsaw Massacre feel all-too-real in a way that has been imitated a million times but never really attained.
Anyway, I was very pleased that I still enjoyed it as much or more than I did when I first saw this a decade ago, and I think this has moved way up in my Horror Pantheon.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Fri Oct 11, 2019 2:09 am

Jinnistan wrote:
Fri Oct 11, 2019 1:42 am
I tried a rewatch, after many many years, of the 1984 Children of the Corn. Don't worry. It's still stale. But my fascination has always been with imagining how it could have been done a whole lot better, despite the multiple dry heaves of the sequels.

The largest issue is that King's short story is indeed pretty short. It seems to be ideal for maybe an hour-length run. This can be workably stretched into 80-90 minutes, but would require a strong reliance on slow-burn atmospherics, deliberate real-time pacing and the tension of tedium. This 1984 version clearly has no patience or audience-trust to risk such an approach, which is why they added so may ill-conceived structural beats - a poorly enacted prologue, escalating chases into action film cliches - in order to prolong the material in ways which aren't dependent on filmmaking skills (skills that director Fritz Kiersch was hoarding for Gor apparently) and can offer the precisely timed jolts as predictably as the number of blueberries in a Vegas muffin.

A film, originating with the angry couple as they encounter the town, through to the final sacrifice, faithfully adapted from King's story, could still make for a strong film if the studio could just keep their little notes to themselves.
Well, I wholeheartedly agree with you opening statement here, I'm fascinated to hear that somebody else feels the same way.
I think where we differ a bit is that, while, I like the King story a lot, I actually thought the movie had a lot of good ideas going for it too, it was all just so poorly executed.
I'd actually still watch it again because there are things that I really like about it, but it is, overall, pretty poor.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Captain Terror » Fri Oct 11, 2019 2:17 am

Wooley wrote:
Thu Oct 10, 2019 9:38 pm

dead bodies and limbs are hanging from the trees all around.
That's one of my favorite scenes ever. Just about peed my pants the first time I saw that. :up:
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Fri Oct 11, 2019 2:25 am

Captain Terror wrote:
Fri Oct 11, 2019 2:17 am
That's one of my favorite scenes ever. Just about peed my pants the first time I saw that. :up:
You know it?!
Yeah, it's a cool-ass scene and totally unexpected.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Fri Oct 11, 2019 4:27 am

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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Fri Oct 11, 2019 4:33 am

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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Rock » Fri Oct 11, 2019 5:10 am

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"We're outgunned and undermanned. But you know somethin'? We're gonna win. You know why? Superior attitude. Superior state of mind." - Mason Storm
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Rock » Fri Oct 11, 2019 5:12 am

I also probably owe The Funhouse a rewatch. I thought it boring as shit when I watched it years ago (outside of the bit with the magician), but Hooper's style has grown on me over the years.

Killer Klowns is A-okay though.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Fri Oct 11, 2019 6:36 pm

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How about just Terrible.
Fuck this ugly, garbage-ass movie. Fuck it.
I have a lot of venom for this movie for a number of reasons.
One is that it is mean-spirited for the sake of being mean-spirited, using its central character only to dish out the most horrifying things the filmmakers could think of, generally focused on extreme disfigurement, especially to the female sex organs and face.
The second is that the script, if there was one, is absolute shit. One character after another, including the goddamn killer, makes the most absurd and pitiful horror-movie character decisions we've ever seen. You can try to argue that this happens in a lot of horror movies but I call bullshit, I've never seen so many and so egregious even in a low-budget horror, not even Hell Night. In a time when horror movies are supposed to be more aware, this movie has falling-no-reason, running-as-if-you're-in-slow-motion, hiding-in-plain-fucking-sight, dropping-your-weapon, as well as new idiocy such as taunting a guy in a clown suit in public who is already acting like a menacing serial-killer, exploring a building you have already deemed "creepy" by yourself at 3 in the morning, and maybe the best one, knocking the killer down on the ground and clearly hurting him but then instead of finishing him off, even just to knock him out, you stand over him yelling taunts for him to get up and fight - when you're like 120 pound woman with nothing but a wooden-board to fight with and the killer is like a 6'2" man who literally just sawed your friend in half in front of you. Give me a fucking break. The startling thing was that they even had the killer do stupid shit that got him hurt as well. And then there's this whole stupid side-plot with the crazy-woman who lives in the building and thinks a doll is her actual child. That whole thing has no purpose but to pad the run-time and add a victim so the creators could pull-off another horrifying sexual mutilation on a woman.
The third thing, and the one that really just made me so irritated, is that they absolutely ruined the character, Art The Clown.
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Just shit all over what they had done in the previous short to make him compelling in the first place.
In the previous film, All Hallow's Eve, Art is this very surreal entity, seeming to almost exist outside the natural world, like he really doesn't belong here and when you encounter him, you've just been really fucking unfortunate, because he's this gleefully evil creature that seems to come from a place where it is normal to take child-like delight in causing suffering. He doesn't seem to have any feeling whatsoever toward his victims because he is just not human. He's like a pixie from Hell. And he never breaks character because he is always in complete and utter control of the situation. As much as like a Freddy Krueger, once he fancies you, that's it, you are just his play-thing. And there's something really, really terrifying about that. The extreme violence in the first film really only acts to enhance how frightening the character is. Generally I can do without extreme violence in movies, but it was really effective in AHE because it really made Art's child-like joy at doing what he does seem all the more frightening.

And then comes this piece of shit. I had worried that trying to make this work at feature-length would be a dodgy proposition and that changing actors for Art would be a mistake but I gave it a shot. Boy did I miss the point. They ruined the character in concept itself. I don't know how it's possible for the creator of a character to completely misunderstand his own character, but Leone completely misses the mark in this, changing Art, really, into an angry, reactionary, hateful, mean-spirited serial-killer. All through the film, he reacts emotionally to his victims, at times becoming moody and pissy (which is fuckin' lame), at others angry, at others vengeful, weakening, really just totally fucking ruining the central thing that made the character interesting. He spends a LOT of time in this one trying really hard to be menacing whereas in the previous one he was absolutely playful. It also doesn't help that he doesn't seem to be that smart in this one and frequently gets his ass handed to him by just about anybody he encounters, despite his size-advantage and bat-shit craziness. The whole time it seems like his very first night out the whole thing's gonna come completely unravelled. Whereas previously it seemed like the only reason he wasn't murdering people every night was because he just didn't happen to find someone who tickled his fancy. And when he did it was just a joy for him. Here, you can picture him, especially with the ill-advised homage(?) to A Nightmare On Elm Street opening showing him actually dressing up instead of just appearing fully formed, as just some deeply disturbed sicko who's dreamed of butchering women and is having his first go at it. And it's not actually going all that great. Him pulling out a gun really lamed the fuck out of the place. Seriously, at one point, this guy they show making all these elaborate torture weapons with all kinda blades and scalpels and tools and chains and shit, is getting his asked kicked so bad by a small, severely wounded woman with a piece of wood, that he has to pull a gun on her. Fuck this movie.

I can't believe I even bothered to write this much about this garbage-heap of a failure, but here we are. Art The Clown worked in short-form. At feature-length, it was a disaster. The filmmakers didn't know what to do. They have no story at all. They fail to make what they do put on-screen make any sense at all. They have a bunch of nonsense. They have the worst kind of horror-movie script-fails. And they actually took what made their character theoretically worth turning into a feature-length film and just reduce him to a really angry sicko in a clown-suit who might have actually been defeated early on if the other characters weren't written as impossibly fucking stupid, and I mean WAY beyond even horror standards, and the script didn't just make excuses to keep him alive. And all of that just so they could put the most brutal, ugly, almost nauseating shit they could think of on-screen.

Fuck this movie. Fuck it.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Fri Oct 11, 2019 6:49 pm

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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Fri Oct 11, 2019 6:52 pm

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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Captain Terror » Fri Oct 11, 2019 6:58 pm

Well, when you put it that way.... :)

So for what it's worth I dug up my old comment from last year, and it seems I mentioned the same diner scene as Crumbs:
Captain Terror wrote:
Tue Sep 04, 2018 12:26 pm
I don't even remember the violence in AHE now, because the enduring memory for me is that scene where he's in the bus station just sitting there being a creepy mofo. That's my favorite element of the character so my favorite scene from Terrifier is a similar scenario, where our heroines encounter him in a diner. I mean, there's probably a limit to how many movies you can get out of this before it becomes stale, but so far so good.
Another thing I appreciate is the lack of a torture element to the violence. It's really gross, don't get me wrong, but we're at least spared most of the squirming and pleading of the victims. If you're a victim, your suffering will be short.
I completely agree that we didn't need any backstory, etc for Art to be effective. I'm with you that he was handled better in AHE.

I mildly disagree about the sexual violence and the gun, but I'm at work so I'll be back later with more.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Wooley » Sat Oct 12, 2019 7:36 pm

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Yes, I know this is in my Horrorthon every year, there's a reason for that.

Once again, this movie saves the day. Last year I was having a little trouble getting in the spirit so I did a double feature with this and Trick 'R' Treat and the day was saved.
This year, the whole thing was almost ruined by the historically bad Terrifier and I just needed to get the awful taste out of my mouth to proceed. So I pulled CitW early and it was a good thing because I went to bed with a huge grin on my face.
I know everyone here has seen this (and as I said last year, I know there are haters or people who thought it was meh, and I just can't comprehend that) but the briefest of setups here:
A group of 5 friends head for a trip to a Cabin In The Woods none of them have ever been too. They comprise a jock who's on academic scholarship, a "blonde" who is only blonde because she just died her hair for the first time and is really sweet and kind, an egghead who is the best receiver on the football team, a "virgin" who's sleeping with her professor, and a stoner who sees the world as it really is. In other words, the film begins with a complete subversion of horror-movie tropes. And continues from there. As thy all pile into the Winnebago and drive off toward their fates, a military-looking character on the roof of their building calls into his walkie-talkie as he sees them driving away. What could possibly be afoot?
Going forward the film tickles just about every horror trope it can possibly lay it's fingers on and nods at dozens of horror movies. Which would be fine on its own. But it does it with finesse. It does it with cleverness. And a great deal of wit. The movie has so many lines that I can quote that I finally realized I could pretty much quote the whole movie. And at the same time, it is actually a totally legit horror-movie, going over the top without losing its all-important grounding in its characters. Each of the five are pretty-much pitch-perfect, considering they are subversions of common character types and have to kind of play it both ways (as they begin to slip into their stereotypical behaviors as the movie progresses), but the movie is really tied together beautifully by these two characters:
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...whose role in things I cannot reveal in case anyone hasn't seen it, but are possibly my favorite two characters of any horror movie in the last... well, ever. Richard Jenkins, the unsung hero of so many films, and Bradley Whitford steal this movie from the get-go and are the backbone of every sentiment in the movie, including, unsurprisingly, humor, and, surprisingly, empathy.
Has this become my favorite overall horror movie, now that I have seen it 9-10 times? Quite possibly, it's certainly in any conversation of my favorites, but regardless, it is the fun I need in my Horrorthon and definitely rescued me from one bummer of a movie almost ruining my whole mood.

Spoiler-tagged fun trivia below:
In addition to the twins from The Shining, a new Cenobite to nod to Hellraiser, a Blob, a giant snake, a giant tarantula, the ballerina, The Strangers, a killer tree (nice), an evil clown, the Merman (Creature From The Black Lagoon), a buzz-saw-armed robot, and a ghost (among others I couldn't see as well), is the Ku Klux KLan.
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Re: Wooley's Half-Ass Horrorthon 2 (Horrorthon 14)

Post by Popcorn Reviews » Sat Oct 12, 2019 8:21 pm

The Cabin in the Woods is up there with the most fun films I've seen this century. It's so beautifully inventive and creative to no end and the final half hour or so is remarkable.
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